After so many years of dating women from completely different backgrounds, I have realized that seducing and taking them to bed is just a very small part of the equation. As a matter of fact, this is where things really start, a launch pad to a possible relationship you would like to have with this person in the future.
Because let’s face it: most guys only focus on the first step, which is conquering a woman and banging her. So but what if she is not just a One Night Stand type of girl? Or a Tinder Date? What if you actually see her as a good match and want to make her your main girl, or even something more serious like a partner or wife?
Well, today I am going to talk about exactly about comes after those first nights of sex, when you already talk or write to each other everyday and there is this sense of “commitment” in the air.
So the following are the traits and behaviour a woman must have, in order that your relationship can not only survive but actually thrive and turn into a solid partnership between two human beings:
Call me old-fashioned, a male chauvinist or whatever you want but the truth is, if a woman does not know how to cook, then I will not even take her seriously in terms of having a relationship with her. In addition, girls who know how to cook, but who constantly refrain to do so, due to “lack of time” or simply laziness, can also be added into this “discard group”.
First of all, to know how to cook tells already one (good) thing about her: she has received these skills most likely directly from her mother and has, therefore, a good set of familiar values. It may sound too simplistic but my experience tells me that, if a woman knows how to cook, she also knows how to take care of the man on her side.
Moreover, I find it extremely helpful to be with a woman who cooks with pleasure. If, like me, you have a busy life, with plenty of important stuff going on in your head, then the last thing you want to do is to arrive home in the evening and still lose time boiling rice and grilling some meat. I do not mind to do this one time per day, especially at the lunch time, but if I have someone who can do it (and also much better than me), why not taking advantage of it?
In the end, it saves you time, it makes you more relaxed and eventually also healthier, in case she really knows how to mix ingredients and serve them in the form of a meal.
Let’s say you buy a new, cool t-shirt and, when removing the label, you tear a little bit the fabric. Damn, now you need to find a store to sew it and you will, consequently, lose time (and a little bit of money), adding unnecessary clutter to your already filled to-do list.
Or perhaps it is Saturday, you would like to relax, but then you think about the ten shirts you need to iron and you immediately get depressed, until you finally say: “i am going to hire a housemaid, I am tired of this shit of losing time in useless activities”.
Hey, and do not forget that there is still the bathroom and kitchen to clean…what a weekend you have in front of you!
But what if there were someone who could not only do all of this, but could actually do it fast and almost effortlessly? Well, if you are lucky enough (or, better said, if you have chosen the “right woman”), then the girl you are with is one of these.
One who has no problems in taking care of the household, leaving you with more time to complete the activities which will actually put money in your pocket.
I am not saying you should oblige your girlfriend to do this. In the end, she may also work a lot and have neither the time nor the patience to complete such domestic tasks. However, if she does it naturally, then consider it a gift and just feel proud to have someone like her next to you.
Takes care of her man (including massages and sex)
In the long run, when that burning desire will already be somehow attenuated and both of you will have built a routine, what will keep the relationship alive will be a strong foundation, based both on companionship and on a natural tendency in satisfying the other party.
Therefore, if the woman you are with is too self-centered and only thinks about her own well-being, then trust me, sooner or later what you both have will end. The discussions and conflicts will start, as each one of you will be pulling the rope to his/her side, until it finally breaks.
On the other hand, if she pro-actively finds ways to please you, then not only the relationship will be kept at a healthy state but, more important and more likely, it will even improve.
So let’s say you come from work tired and you lie on the sofa next to her, watching some series or film together. Before you even realize it, she will already be massaging your neck or traps, in order that you relax and even forget about the tough day you have had.
Or even better: without you asking for anything, and even if there is absolutely no sexual tension in the room, she knows what lights a man, so without asking any permission, she starts touching your fellow down there, to then put it in the mouth.
But not everything is about physical pleasure. For instance, if you are not feeling so well or in case you are actually sick, she anticipates the whole situation and immediately asks whether you need something (can be as simple as making a tea).
In the end, it is the sum of these small comforts which will make a relationship big.
There are many ways a woman can screw up a relationship, but if there were only a single answer, that one would be when she limits your freedom and does not respect your space.
When you first met her, you laughed and a had perfect chemistry together. However, you made it very clear from the beginning that you sometimes need your time alone or together with (guy) friends, where you can disconnect from everything and really enjoy these nice moments.
Not that with her you can not have great moments as well, of course you do. But, if you are a real man, you know that sometimes you just need time on your own, where you can not only empty your mind but also recharge batteries, so that your love relationship can also benefit from it.
But here is where some girlfriends or wives start going too far. By always controlling and asking where you are. By judging and start “charging” for the moments you are with your friends and not with her. By making some kind of mind games, constantly blackmailing you with consequences (e.g: “if you go out with your friends, there will be no dinner on the table/sex when you come back”).
In addition, whenever you arrive home and you just want to relax in silence, she emphasizes her female capacity of releasing words faster than a machine gun. What this brings is more stress to your head, instead of having exactly the opposite, some relaxation next to the person who should understand you the most.
That is why a good woman must not only respect your space but also be fine with silences. As a matter of fact, and more often than not, a healthy relationship is based exactly on these moments, where you can communicate with each other without releasing a single word.
Neither being too social nor a night bitch
As I already referred in my article 15 ways to identify a slut, there are some red signs you must immediately recognize when ascertaining whether she is indeed a decent woman, with strong values, or just some slut disguised as a good girl.
And even if you get “tricked” in the beginning, when you engage in something more serious or regular with her you will soon realize whether she is the former or the latter type. But in case you are still in doubt, I can give you some hints whether your relationship is going to last (or not).
First, if she has lots of friends and acquaintances (bonus point if the majority are men), it means that she will always be looking for social moments and interactions. So everything which will happen at home, just between you too, it will simply be too “boring”.
Then, if she goes out and drinks a lot, it means she likes to party, to meet new people and to socialize. This is basically the perfect formula for to being cuckolded faster than you think, as she will constantly be exposed to meet new guys, being constantly tempted.
Mix these two elements together, being social and going out a lot, and you have the perfect example of an immature girl whose interests and behaviour clear show that she is not ready to assume a serious relationship (maybe she will never be).
Because if her priorities are being around other people, always going out and looking for fun, the last thing she will want will be to face many times the boredom of routine, which is part of every life together. If she does not feel comfortable or relaxed just in your presence, without all the thrill of loud places and social atmospheres, then she is simply not worth the effort.
I know I could talk about many more things here. For instance, that you need to share similar interests. Yes, this is way more important than people think, and we tend to overlook such factor for a relationship to work.
If her priorities are going shopping, dancing salsa and spending holidays on the beach, while yours are reading books, practising karate and spending holidays on the mountains, then sorry to disappoint you but it is just not going to work.
Or of course that I could have talked also about her loyalty. That she must be an honest person whom you can trust 99% (forget about 100%, that’s just a utopia). Someone who is willing to prove it not only through words but especially through everyday actions that you are almost the number one reason of her existence, someone she truly values and therefore wants to keep on her side.
Still, the five qualities I stated above are, according to my experience, the ones which will allow you to keep a woman in your life, even when things will start getting out of hand. Yes, because in the beginning, everything is great: you obsess over that sexy body, the sex is great and the nice moments you have together are simply amazing.
But then, simply because that is called life and human nature, some small conflicts, misunderstandings or discussions will start to happen and will become more frequent. That is why liking a girl and finding her hot is just the tip of the iceberg.
Because if she does not have what it takes and only cares about her interests, then it’s never going to work (by the way, the same about you, you will need to adapt and to swallow your own pride many times).
You can try, you can believe in it and you can come with all the acrobatics you want, but in the end you will only be wasting your energy in vain. So instead of rowing against the tide, which will never work in the long-term, just find a woman whose priority is to stay with you.