8 things you should know before dating a Latina
Regarding women, I have two passions: Latinas (attention that I am not including Brazilians in this group, as they are differentiated by some factors, being the most important one the fact that they speak Portuguese and not Spanish) and Eastern European women. These are two different worlds which have lots of resemblances, especially if we take into account such factors as femininity and traditional values. But since today the topic is not girls who speak a Slavic language, I will talk about the former group who are also the type of women – I know that a Latina is a wide term as there are dozens of different countries in Latin America but, having had cases with Mexicans, Colombians, Argentinians, Peruvians or Paraguayans, I take the risk of generalizing and painting all of them with the same brush – whom I have more similarities and consequently more bonds with, since I can speak their language, their culture has several traits which I truly love (food and music, for instance) and, last but surely not least, the hospitality and warmness people from Latin America have within themselves is something incomparable to the rest of the world. So, in case you have met that hot, sexy Latin American and you are wondering whether she is a good bet, below follows a list of things you should know beforehand and which will surely help you to decide:
They are great housewives
We live in 2017 and that means a bunch of bad things, being one the most terrible the fact that women have lost all their ability – and will – to be good housewives. Instead of being nurturing and caring, their only concern is to rush and to climb the corporate leader, which leads in most of the times to a dead-end, irrelevant sum up of skills which can never be applied in the real world. But fortunately, we still have many old-school, traditional ladies from Latin America who surely know how to put order in the house. From cleaning to tidiness, from washing and ironing the clothes to the preparation of a nice meal, the Latinas make sure that their roots, taught directly by their caring mothers, are kept alive and ready to be deliver to the next generation. Take the food, for instance: every Latina I am with, I make the immediate test of asking her to cook for me. And not only she consents it with great pleasure – contrary to some western bitches, who are lazy and only rely on either fast food or their cuckold boyfriends to cook for them – but also she prepares a fine dish, one of these you can relish the real taste of nutrients and not just the plastic, proper of a pre-frozen package.
The sex is great
We reach the core of the matter: in the end why would we be chasing these women if they were like a dead fish on bed? The truth is that Latinas are usually warm-blooded and that is reflected in everything they do including, of course, sex. First of all, also according to their cultural background, they love to please a man. Therefore, be prepared to see her grabbing your fellow down there as if it were the last refreshing ice-cream available on a 40° day in the desert. Then, they love to be dominated, which means that the more you grab their hair, slap their asses and give them a vigorous pumping, the more you will have a devoted woman on your side, like a trained dog waiting for her master (or “papi”, like they tenderly say to a guy they are with) to give out the next instructions. Finally, you will feel their true warmth by the way they not only move on the top of you but also by the sounds and expressions they release from their mouth. In the end, the sum of all these factors is a true lollipop for every male who wants a free ride on the thrilling Latin carousel.
They talk/write a lot
In case you are looking for a tranquil girl who will not “bug” you constantly, then I regret to inform that a Latina is all but that, being therefore the last type of woman you should look for. As we all know, women have this inner trait which makes their mouth – or finger, writing on their phone – releasing words every hundredth of second but in case they come from Latin America, then these phenomenon is taken to a whole new level. They literally talk about everything and the best you can do to you keep yourself sane and with the mental health in order is to let them speak, exactly as if you had a child in front of you. Don’t argue, don’t answer, don’t dispute, just think about the wonderful world of Louis Armstrong that everything will be ok. More seriously, if she keeps talking to you a lot, it is a very good signal and it simply means she is quite interested in you and is happy to share every detail of her life with you.
They are pure consumers
If women are obsessed about spending all their money in the most unnecessary items one can think of, Latinas take that consumption to an extreme level. They follow this behavior from the moment they are able to speak until the very last breathe of their lives. No matter which phase of life they are at or whether they are single or married with children, these warm-blooded women will always find a way to make use of their money: being when hanging out with their friends, when looking for the next amazing piece of jewelry or the pair of shoes they really need to buy, that modern and useful new kitchen or to sign up for all the online procrastination waste such as Spotify or Netflix, there will always be an excuse to keep the world’s economy thriving and liquid. And please take into account that this does mean that they are gold diggers – even if many of them are, so watch out your wallet – only that they will always be riding the spending carousel. So if you are someone who are on a saving quest to invest in something (for instance, on your business, on your life) or you simply want to keep your money and not waste it uselessly, then think ten times before you get into a relationship with a Latina, because she will suck up all your money with little things.
They are attention-seekers by nature
Attention that I am not talking about the typical western disease of drawing attention for the sake of it, like taking selfies in every situation and posting them on social media – naturally Latinas are women and therefore are not exempt from this western virus, meaning that most of them also indulge themselves in such behavior. What I am stating is a more childish type of attention seeking, the typical “I want to be in the spotlight and I will do everything within reach to get the maximum attention possible”. First, it starts with the way they dress and walk – with nice dresses, tight jeans or short skirts, walking confidently usually on their high heels – just to make sure all the stares are directed at them. Then, they are usually people who laugh out and talk loud, two clear signs that discretion is not a word they know the meaning of. Finally, these women love to feel that they know everyone, so they to talk to as many people as they can – that cool guy on the gym, the colleague who works downstairs, the new group of the German course – therefore expanding their social circles beyond reasonable limits. So considering these points the outcome is quite obvious: if she is physically attractive, the tendency is that she will meet many more guys than girls and in the end you can imagine the absurd quantity of sources of attention this girl will have aimed at her!
They touch a lot
(and let me just warn you that the object of touch may not be you in most of the cases) One of the things Latinas have inherently rooted in their blood and culture is this habit of touching and being physical with everybody. And while this is quite inoffensive if you see your new Colombian girlfriend combing the hair and kissing the cheeks of her super Mexican girl friend, I guarantee you that it will not be so pleasant when you see her hugging and slapping her new friend from Peru in the arm, after he tells a joke which becomes even funnier just because “he is such a cool guy”. Actually, if she is a real Latin woman, she will have the tendency to have many more male acquaintances and friends than female because, as you know, women hate one another and this gets thousand times truer in case she was born in Latin America. So basically you will come across with the following: in every moment and situation, whether you are present or not, she will most likely be with one or more guys she has confidence with – needless to say that this can show up just after a nice hour of conversation, as they become friends easily with everybody, especially if that everybody is an attractive, cool guy with a nice personality – meaning that if you are someone jealous, coming from a non Latin background or just someone who does not tolerate such behavior from women, you will have a couple of extra headaches. So in the end it is up to you whether you will consider this proximity and attitude acceptable or something already beyond reason.
They always become jealous and possessive
You may think that finally you have met this loose Latina who is cool, calm and will never stress you out, like the last five girlfriends you had before. Well buddy, if you live in planet earth, then I regret to inform that this will never happen during your lifetime. Why? Because if she was born in Latin America and you have fucked her more than a couple of times, then I can assure you that there will be a point in which she will try to check all of your next moves. She will want to know where you are, what you are up to and whom are you with. And it will be this latter point the one she will be more obsessed about, as she will have a constant fear that you will be in the presence of attractive women and flirting with them (or, worst case scenario, banging them) and therefore questioning you all the time what are you up to. And I can tell you that in most of the cases their jealously will exceed the acceptable standards – including scenes, tantrums and even some light violence – so it is up to you to assess the situation carefully and to leave immediately if you detect some red flags, before your life turns into hell.
They need a strong lead
I know that this is true for all type of women but it is ten times truer for these warm-blooded girls. Even if they tell you the opposite, they real enjoy a man who can command them or even be harsh to them. Even if in they call me a sexist or a male chauvinist, the truth is that I have never had a single Latin woman who has left me because of the way I treat them. In fact, in all the cases they have even gotten more attached to me, sometimes falling in love and obsessed with me (which is not good, like referred on the previous point). On the other hand, if you become somehow passive and give her too much “freedom” – basically, if you do not hold your frame and let her gain the confidence to control things – then get ready to lose this girl and to become another cuckold on the line.
Looking at the list above, I would say that there are unarguably two positive points, five which can be either negative or positive – it is question of perspective, meaning how you look and react towards these points – and one which only depends on you and influences the way all the other seven factors work together.
Starting with the two positives, whoever type of man you are, I bet all my chips that you enjoy having a woman who knows both how to take care of the household and how to satisfy your little friend down there. Concerning the former, I cannot think of a better way a woman can prove her femininity and nurturing skills than when she commits with pleasure to such activities as cooking a fine dish or putting the whole house in order. Regarding the latter, sex is one of the most natural activities a human being can practice, so if it is done in an exciting way then the world will surely become a better place (I can imagine that sexual frustration is one of the main reasons why so many guys commit suicide or kill other people in atrocious attacks). And yes, Latinas know how to do it and they make sure you enjoy the ride, in order that you repeat it over and over again.
But if Latinas were roses without thorns, then I would not be writing this article, would I? Well and the raw truth is that they have a handful of factors which can drive every man crazy (in the bad sense of the word).
First, the way they release words from their mouths can be a real pain in the neck for a man who esteems his own space and tranquility. Either you accept it, see it as a positive thing – because in the end if she is talking a lot it is because she likes you – and put it as a background noise or I strongly recommend you to jump out of the boat as quickly as you can, otherwise you will go mad sooner than you think.
Second, you have to get ready to be next to a person who will spend more money in one day than your grandfather in a lifetime. The modern societies are getting more and more consumerist, mostly because we are giving the resources – money and time – like never before to women. And guess what they do in the presence of these two elements? Yes, you got it: they use their time to spend their money (facepalm) in the most useless items and services you can think of. And by some work of destiny, it seems that Latinas were programmed to spend even more than the regular women, so if you are someone who do not waste money in shit and gets annoyed very easily by someone who does it, then you must avoid these female spenders at all costs.
Then, can you bare the fact that the Latina you are with is constantly seeking and putting herself as center of the attention? I recommend you to think twice before you answer. Want discretion while dating such a girl? Forget it, you will not have it. So in the end you should assess whether the hotness, femininity and devotion (hopefully, if you do things right) compensates the clutter and the fuss inherent to a Latina who by every means loves to signal herself to others.
And talking about how she relates with all the people but you, be ready that she will literally throw herself at others, just because the physical contact is so deep rooted in her DNA that not even Isaac Newton would have the slight idea how to remove that trait from a person. While a German woman girl greets someone with a handshake, a Peruvian hugs and kisses that person on the cheek; while a Japanese woman laughs timidly when a male friend releases a teasing joke, the Mexican woman laughs out loud and even slaps the bastard on the shoulder. The list of examples are endless, just as the possibilities of having a nervous breakdown, in case you are a person who wanted a sophisticated partner and just ended up with a show-off lover!
Last but surely not least, if you are with a Latina, get ready to be “followed” 24/7 as they will not want lose trace of their man! While this can be good if done within healthy limits, the reality is that women are emotional beings, so if you find a Latina who can reach this balance, make sure to stay with her because you have found a gem. Even so, I am only talking about the positive side of jealously – when she likes you and wants to control every move of yours – because if I refer when you cheat on your Latina girlfriend, she eventually discovers it and you get caught, then my friend, you will literally enter hell. The sweet angel sudden becomes a rancorous, resentful and wicked devil who will make sure that not only everyone knows about your actions (the last time it happened to me, it involved the 911, the police and some photos of me naked in the hands of other people) but also that she turns into a big slut, banging all the possible guys – including some friends of yours, if possible – just for you to understand whom you should have never messed with.
But, going back to the beginning of this conclusion and referring the point which can control all the other ones, it is as simple as this: you have to keep your frame and to have a strong lead! I am of the opinion that if nobody tells a person that he or she is doing something wrong, he or she has the right to say that “oh I did not know that I was doing something incorrect”. That is why you have to call her on her bad behavior. Is she talking a lot or just bothering you with words? “Hey honey, can you shut up a little bit as I am trying to concentrate.” Or even a “Hey I do not need to listen to this, can you please shut up?” Basically there are no limits to the way you can call her out and honestly you should challenge her in every circumstance you consider she did not behave properly. “Can you please tell me why are always grabbing and hugging this guy? Would you like that my hot friend Vanessa would do the same to me, only because we are very good friends?” (she will answer no) Another one: “Why do you come dressed in such provocative clothes? I do not like other men to look at you and immediately think about you as a possible hole to stick their dicks!” Or why not telling her to cut the confidence she gives to that receptionist in the gym or the new colleague in her working place? In the end, if you show her that you are willing to leave her at any moment, just because you neither tolerate nor accept a certain kind of behavior, you will be putting yourself in a position of power and consequently with her afraid of losing you. And in the end that is all you must do with Latinas or with any type of women: to show them who the boss is! Because if you do it, I promise that you will have a devoted girl on your side, totally ready to please and make you happy.