Life has many stages and phases.
You can be a teenager who still has the whole life in front of him.
Or maybe someone already in his 20s, who wants to try, experiment and discover as many things as he can.
But as you grow older, you start understanding how things work. You start creating mind patterns and recognizing situations – based on the many times you have gone through them – with the final goal of doing things more efficiently and avoiding past errors.
And so, the more experienced you are, the more you think you will be able to avoid certain desires, to control emotional states and to overcome difficulties.
Basically, you deeply believe that you can control almost every single aspect of your life, being related to finances and money, to relationships or even to what you feel and how you let (or not) your emotions dictate the course of your existence.
But today, and contrary to what you and most people think, I am going to tell you why certain things will always be present, even if you try by any means to avoid or to totally eradicate them from your life.
Will to bang other women
If you have landed in this website, most likely one of things you give more importance in your life is women. And even if the opposite sex does not occupy your thoughts as before, you still can not live without them.
As hard as we try, in one way or another, we will never be able to remove women from our life.
Of course that there are different types of guys. There are those, perhaps the majority, who eventually do not care so much about women. I mean, they like them, for sure, but they are happy to find a partner and settle with her. And when a stunning pass by them, they do not suffer so much as “others”.
Yes, the “others”, guys like you and me, who somehow have a good eye to spot and appreciate the lovely nature of the female body. However, on the other hand, we also dream in silence that one day this desires vanishes, so that we can live a tranquil life, with a woman on our side without really caring about any other.
Well pal, I have bad news for you: it won’t! Because this seed, virus, disease or whatever you want to call it will never go away. Actually, sometimes it gets even worse, as you get older.
How do I know what? Because I have older friends, who are already over 40, who keep behaving like horny teenagers always running after fresh pussy.
And talking about my personal experience, I know that I used to care a lot more about the opposite sex. That it used to be my priority throughout my whole twenties and that right now I have plenty of stuff which I give more importance to.
But that does not mean that I do not desire other women, even when I am in a moment where I have a girlfriend or some girl I really like. So instead of fighting your “inner demons”, just accept the fact that you will always want to try other women. Even if you are in a serious relationship, or even married with kids, you will always look with desire at that nice ass walking on the street.
So it will always depend on you, whether you want to cheat on your girlfriend or wife or, at a more advanced level, if you want to keep living the playboy lifestyle. If you do, that’s fine, just remember that women do not pay your bills and that they have the tendency to suck all your time and money.
If not, then avoid any temptations in the first place. As a rule of thumb, anytime you realize you will put yourself in a “dangerous situation” – checking other girls on Instagram, going with friends two weeks to Russia, going out in a Latin student party in Bogotá – just nip the evil in the bud and tell your devil side to fuck off/friends you won’t join them.
Do just like I do with chips, chocolates and candies: I love them, that is why I never buy such products and have them stored at home.
If you are a guy with two balls and you also live on planet Earth, then more than surely you are aware of all the terminology surrounding picking up and interacting with women. And anytime you are reading or watching something on this topic, sooner or later you will hear the good, old approach anxiety.
“No more approach anxiety”.
“How to overcome approach anxiety in 3 steps”.
“The magic secret to say goodbye to approach anxiety forever”.
Whenever approach anxiety is the topic, it seems that we are looking how to stop a bug infestation in our home or how to get rid of that virus which stubbornly insists in staying rooted in our computer.
So unless you have become a soulless robot, then I regret to inform you that you will always feel like this whenever you are about to talk to a complete stranger (especially if she’s a hot woman).
Yes, when your heart will start beating faster than a trance song, being at a bar, in the middle of the street or in other “challenging” scenarios – such as a bus stop, where she will be surrounded by other people who will clearly hear and understand what you are doing.
Look, I have been approaching women for about fifteen years and guess what? I always get anxious anytime I am about to talk a new one.
Of course that, if I am on holidays or in a more relaxed state (drunk?), where I do not rationalize things so much, it will always be easier and feel more natural. However, for every other daily situation, it will always be relatively hard.
So before you start getting frustrated with this answer, understand that staying a little bit nervous is a good sign: it means that you are alive and that your hormones are in check.
It is important to state that experience changes things A LOT. The more you do it, the more you get used to it.
But here comes the catch: by being more experienced, that does not mean you are not going to be nervous as well. Because you will.
The difference lies in how you deal with that feeling and how you are able to rationalize it. And that is exactly what guys who are used to be among women do:
They just accept those jitters – all that anxiety that they have anytime they spot a hot girl – and convert that energy into taking action, not only by approaching and talking to her but also by making an effort to keep a cool vibe.
Difficulty in physical activities
Whenever you watch some professional sporting event, most likely you will be impressed by the performance of the athletes. You see them running or moving indefinitely as if they had a constant supply of oxygen in their lungs and a special force which never makes them tired.
And whenever you hit the gym or you are going to play soccer in your regional team, it seems that you always end up tired. Oh you wish you would never get tired like those guys you see on the TV!
First, what you see sometimes, if not most of the times, does not correspond to reality. Why? Because these athletes get tired. Worse, they suffer eventually more than you (unless you are completely out of shape and start practicing sports again).
What they have in a much higher dose is their capacity of suffering and enduring.
So when you are thinking about hitting the gym, do not think that after a couple of months it will be easy (if it is, you are doing something wrong).
That your muscles will not be suffer and that you can relax, while growing them. Actually, it will cost you even more work, as you will be loading the barbel with more weight.
The same when you enroll in any sport which requires lung capacity and resistance. Being now or in two years, anytime you will be doing a couple of sprints, you will be feel tired afterwards.
So just ditch this idea that somewhere in the future it will become easier…because it won’t. What will change will be the way you endure pain and you become more resilient overall.
As they say: it never gets easier, you just get better.
Will to buy things / To be a consumer
You have heard it a million times: “you have to switch from being a consumer to being a producer”. Fantastic words, which I surely endorse. However, they are too simplistic.
First of all, we are talking about something which is deeply ingrained in our subconscious since the moment we were able to understand what was happening around us. Yes, we have been bombarded by TV and radio commercials, outdoors and advertising signs, every time, everywhere.
So we are used to buy.
To purchase products.
To unpack or unbox something as a normal ritual of our routine.
Therefore, to stop that is almost the same as taming a dog not to eat bones anymore. Sure, you can teach him, he will learn and will obey your command but, the moment you’ll not be watching, his instinct will make him eat or look for the bone anyway.
So no, it is impossible to cease this desire of buying things, even if you become a hustler entrepreneur who works 24/7 and sees the “making money” as his only goal.
And even if you try to avoid at any cost to purchase things, deep down there the desire to acquire something new will always be there. Because humans crave and love what is new, this sense of novelty that makes us feel so good. So what to do?
Well, instead of avoiding it and living in denial the whole time, start rewarding yourself.
Because when you buy something with your “normal” money, you’ll feel great but this feeling will soon be replaced by a neutral feeling or even by (buyer’s) remorse.
However, if you buy something with extra money you made – being from your side hustle, because you won the lottery or because you work harder and were paid more commissions or bonus – you will feel not only the same great first feeling but – and here lies the huge change – this feeling will persist. You’ll suddenly not feel like crap or that you spent money you shouldn’t have.
Because you put in the work, you earned extra and you used money which was not there before (and would also never jeopardize your basic living costs). Consequently, it will almost feel as if you were getting a present.
To be allured by the easy “way out”
We are humans. Among many things, that means we do not like to suffer. Conversely, that makes that our brain usually tries to find the path of least resistance.
So anytime we are presented with an easy way out, immediately our subconscious triggers a “hey, let’s do it!”. After all, we are following one of our most primal instincts.
For instance, when you want to be in shape, you are allured by the idea of having an impressive physique which would make you look great. But then, you are simply too lazy to do it. You can not say no to the comfort of your sofa, while watching all your favorites in Netflix.
But suddenly, you see a commercial about a magic pill which will burn your fat while you sleep, as well as building some muscle. Or a 30-day program which will put you in shape by the end of that time, just through a couple of exercises per week. Now your eyes immediately light up and you get more excited than a 2-year old before eating an ice-cream.
Or when you are desperately looking for money but you do not want to go through the hassle of building a business from scratch, which will cost you money, resources, time and a lot of white hair. Therefore, you start looking for the next big thing.
Maybe you were the guy who invested all your savings in cryptocurrencies. Or started dropshipping a bunch of cheap goods from Aliexpress and selling them via Amazon. Or perhaps you have been enticed by the quick earnings of affiliate marketing, as you don’t need to create anything on your own.
Or let me guess: you keep trying your luck, by gambling and betting most of your monthly pocket-money (or eventually most of your income).
“I know the logic of the Russian Roulette, I will put money until I win”.
“Hey, I have been studying these teams, and the home side has three fundamental players who are injured…this one will be a safe, guaranteed bet!”.
But it never is.
Look, I have been one of these guys my entire life, meaning that I have been falling in all the possible traps (especially regarding money) you can imagine. And guess what? Until not long ago, I was broke as fuck.
So anytime something looks to good to be true, it probably is, so stop looking for easy way outs and gains. If a thing is worth doing, and the results look difficult (having a nice physique, sleeping with different women, earning money regularly), then you have to accept the fact that there will be no shortcuts.
Yes, you will need to lose time and to really work your ass off! So just put the “easy” promises where they belong: in the garbage.
You may have started a business and right now you work almost 24/7 on it, so that you can turn it into a success.
Or perhaps you have begun in the gym, as well as going to some dancing classes, and now nobody stops you at home. Even your friends tell you how active you are and how it seems that you never run out of energy.
But we both know that a high state like that won’t last forever. You haven’t suddenly become a machine just because you are currently driven by “a bigger purpose”. Because there will be days where you won’t “feel like it”.
Or perhaps you take a one week holidays and when you come back home, all that productivity will be gone.
Or eventually you get sick and then it will cost you a lot of work to get back on track.
Or maybe something happened to your hormonal balance and what used to be a productive human being is now a normal guy who just wants to relax on the sofa.
Many people think that the moment you start doing more, earning more and having more responsibilities, is the moment when you’ll become less lazy. True: the more active you are, the more active you become.
Still, that doesn’t mean laziness will suddenly vanish from your life. No, it will always be there, hiding in the dark and waiting for the perfect moment to show up.
And that’s why many people (especially the “achievers” and “go-getters”) enter a state of denial whenever they start feeling lazy, coming up with all the excuses and attempts to put it away – caffeine, pills, mind groups, motivational videos, etc.
But instead of denying it, again, just accept it, as it will never go away. So whenever you can, admit that you are tired, that you need a rest or that you just want to do shit.
You’ll see that not only you’ll feel better with yourself, but eventually that you’ll start working again, in a natural way and with the help of no pills.
Envy and to compare yourself to others
Many will tell you that envy is a sin and that comparing yourself to others is the worst you can do. Well, in theory it may be, but the reality is that we are animals, driven by our emotions.
And so, it is perfectly normal that you feel some envy when you see your neighbor with his new Lamborghini parked next to your Fiat.
Or when you see that handsome, tall guy who makes absolutely no effort to pick up chicks, while you keep learning and studying all the possible “game” moves ever created on Earth.
Hell, even in the locker room of your gym, you have probably looked at other guys’ dicks, not because you’re gay and you desire them, but simply because you are subconsciously comparing it to your little buddy.
So yes, you should make an effort to focus on yourself.
To be grateful for what you have.
To fight for what you want to achieve.
Still, there will be moments where you will feel this little envy or you will be looking at what others have or are doing.
Well, let it be.
Don’t fight this feeling which, deep down, will always be there.
Moreover, if not in excess, to be envious and to compare yourself to others can give you the positive boost and the necessary push to take your life to the next level.
Regarding that neighbor with the Lamborghini, you may gain such an internal anger because you don’t have the means to buy such a car, that you’ll say to yourself “I will have one of those as well, NO MATTER WHAT”.
Or let’s say that you are starting your business, selling some items on Amazon and that you are, in a general way, satisfied of how your business is going. But then you meet some other guys who started a business also when you did, but who are way ahead. Instead of 30 sales per month, they are selling 300.
Instead of just Amazon, they have their own website and are already offering complementary services to their main products. Suddenly, your business doesn’t look as great as it could be, right?
But that’s a good thing: by comparing yourself with others, you remind yourself how much more you can and should achieve.
To be dependent on others
You may have the dream to work for yourself and to become your own boss, so that you can finally tell whomever you want to fuck off, the moment someone starts bugging you.
Why? Simply because you can, as you are not dependent on anyone else.
Well, not so fast pal. Because it doesn’t matter whether you are a job rat or a 100% independent entrepreneur:
You will ALWAYS need and be dependent on others.
“What?! No, I don’t! If I have my profitable business, I can do what the hell I want!”
Oh really? So who is buying your products? The air? The stars? Animals? No, people. And the bigger you get, the more you will have more people around you. They are called customers, the ones who basically pay you the lifestyle you have always wanted to.
So try to send all of them to hell and you will see how much you actually depend on them.
Moreover, the bigger you become, the more you will need to delegate. Maybe finding someone to insert data in the computer. Or a cleaning lady to take care of your office. Or eventually finding a social media manager who can manage your campaigns and answer your customers timely.
So here is the paradox: you want to become independent but, the more you crave independence, the more you will be dependent on other people.
And this applies to everything in life, not just to entrepreneurship. In every situation you find yourself into, you’ll need the help of others, even if you don’t realize it in the first place.
When you need to buy articles from the supermarket, that will only be possible because there are people working there, and many others who occupy their lives by running this business.
And even if you don’t like supermarkets, and you are hungry, the first thing you think about is a restaurant. Well, if there were no chefs, waiters and managers, that place would never be open and you could not ever satisfy your hungry stomach.
When you want to rent an apartment, to buy a car or to take a flight, all these things are only possible because, FORTUNATELY, we still rely on people to operate them.
So the moment you really understand that we live in a world where people are connected to one another, and that we actually need people whom you may not even know, is the moment you will live better and have a more humble attitude towards life.