I know that most likely you are expecting that I talk about a rock or heavy-metal band and indeed this has some logic: the energy, the aggressive sound and the crazy riffs symbolize a pure discharge of the masculine soul. Rock & Roll in its true form is a sign of freedom and subversion, a scream of insurgency against the system and all forms of control (nothing is more Alpha than a man who fights to go his own way, without anyone telling him what to do). If we analyse the following bands, any of them would be the perfect candidate to receive the award of “the most masculine band in the world”.
Starting in Australia, its most famous band AC/DC has, for more than forty years (!), shown that music can be timeless and immune to all the political systems, as they have sung and thrown pure masculine hits one after the other. Songs such as TNT or Thunderstruck just show us that these gentlemen are proud of their testosterone and do not give a fuck about what others may think.
Norway is long ago infested with the political correctness and multiculturalism virus, but somehow there are some who resist and Turbonegro may be the ultimate example of this movement. Nobody spits words like them, which is the same to say that they are fearless defenders of freedom, who sing what the hell they want. When you have someone screaming that “I got erection” or “No, I’m Alpha male” then you have a clear picture that Turbonegro is probably the most masculine band in the whole Europe.
The United Kingdom may be nowadays a fountain of social justice warriors and frustrated pussies, but the fact is that the reality was a total distinct one when Black Sabbath appeared in the end of the 60s. In a time when “being free and against the system” was labelled as trendy and cool, Ozzie Osbourne and his mates laid the foundations for what was then to become the so-called heavy metal. And who starts such a powerful movement/type of music, can only be put in the pedestal of the most masculine bands ever!
If Black Sabbath were the ones who laid the first stone, then Iron Maiden were the ones who took heavy metal to a whole new level. If one watches their shows, listens carefully to their powerful riffs and is attentive to their songs’ lyrics, can quickly realize that Iron Maiden is all about releasing and consuming every reserve one has within him. Songs such as “Hallowed be thy Name” or “Phantom of the Opera” are the climax of what rock & roll intensity and pure discharge is all about!
“They were formed to play harder, faster and louder than anyone else”. Maybe because the UK had been reigning in terms of heavy metal recognition or just because – most likely scenario – they did not give a fuck about stats and just wanted to present us with crazy riffs and electrifying songs, the truth is that Megadeth is beyond question one the pillars of what is to make music in a masculine way. No need to go through their entire repertoire: just listen to “Addicted to Chaos”, with its pure alpha, slashing lyrics ((…)“Don’t give up, don’t give in”(…)), to understand what I am talking about.
The list could not be completed without the kings of metal, as their self-inflicted name unreservedly suggests. Metallica are eventually the most famous band of all the ones mentioned, but that is only due to their genius and consistency, and not because they dress cool or have expensive guitars. There was a time in which turning into mainstream was based on talent and quality, and these guys surely deserve the throne they have reached. “Master of Puppets”, “Enter Sandman” or “Seek and Destroy” are just perfect examples of a rich discography, filled with a powerful masculinity.
But life and music are not all about Rock & Roll and if we think about the “The Godfather of Soul”, James Brown, we could clearly identify how his lyrics and especially movements were provocative and totally masculine, a sign that Brown was there to fight everyone with his own cock, literally! Someone who sang “Get up, Stay on the scene, like a Sex Machine” and could make of that song a tremendous hit worldwide, deserves no less than maximum respect and pure recognition.
Or what about the blues king, “Brother Ray” Charles, who used to sing “She knows a woman’s place is right there now in her home”? It is curious and even funny that Charles is still nowadays recognized by everyone – from the top-tier to the far left anarchists, who tend to see him as a “cool guy” – as a great musician but the reality is that he was a real man, born in a time in which it was ok to say that women are better than us in terms of cooking, of taking care of the house and in nurturing and raising children.
But after this already extensive list of amazing artists, one more masculine than the other, you must be wondering: “ok, so what is your point Pistol? Are you trying to say that there is a hidden group of people who sweat even more testosterone than any of the ones referred previously?” Well, in my honest opinion, yes, there is.
Even if this band is totally off the mainstream radar – unless you are really into Latin music, more specifically into Salsa – they are indeed a milestone and a living proof of what it is to be real artists. Not only they have been releasing songs since 1962 (!), which simply shows how consistent and persistent they are (is there any more masculine trait than that?), but they have also been singing with the same joy, character and authenticity since ever, remaining total immune to what the world is supposed to be. Without further ado, let me present you to the El Gran Combo of Puerto Rico.
Founded in 1962 by Rafael Ithier – the only remaining member from the band’s original line-up – El Gran Combo (in its short version) is considered the most important salsa band which ever existed in history, being an obvious reference for almost every salsa musician and also a university for many artists who have taken part or given contributions to the band. If we take into consideration that salsa music appeared roughly in the beginning of the 60s in New York, then we are talking about a group who has been there almost since day one, shaping and influencing directly how this Latin rhythm evolved and developed itself.
After a brief summary of their history, it is now time to talk about their songs and to bring them to what is the main subject of this article: to be the most alpha band of all time! El Gran Combo has a repertoire of more than sixty albums (!!), so as you can imagine it is humanly impossible to refer even 1/10th of their songs. Nevertheless, I will pick a handful of them, just to show you not only the quality of their music but especially how their lyrics are totally immune to any political correctness one may think of.
I could not start without a better example of what is to be a real man and not to give a fuck! Me libere means “I freed/released myself” and in this song El Gran Combo talks about how this guy has sent all women to hell: the unscrupulous ones, the ones who insulted him and called him a womanizer or the ones who tried to make his life miserable. He keeps singing that he wants no more complications and that there is no other way than just doing it, thank God, to free himself! Even if this song has a clear playful tone and intention, the reality is that it refers a simple action which many men are not capable of: when a woman gives you more problems than good moments and satisfaction, then my friend, the only solution is to dump her!
No hago mas na
There are moments in life in which a man just needs to be honest with himself and say: “I won’t do shit!” And if there is a song, which perfectly defines the state of not doing anything and procrastinate (we all know how terrible this word is, but once in a while it is indeed necessary to let yourself go into it), is this No hago mas na, which literally means “I do nothing more”. Among worldly things such as taking a shower, eating a good breakfast or reading the morning’s newspaper, nothing else matters to this guy except spending a nice, pleasant day. But if you think that he would be just a loser who was lonely at home, just pay attention to these couple of sentences, which tell both that he has a woman on his side and that she is a traditional one, ready to make his life better: (…) Y a la hora de la comida, que prepara mi mujer (And at the meal’s time, which my wife prepares); (…) Señores, sí yo estoy declarado en huelga, sí! Mi mujer que me mantenga, oíste? (Gentlemen, yes I am declaring a strike, yes! My wife being the one who keeps me, did you listen?).
Se me Fue
Se me fue means “it has gone from me “and in this case the singer is talking about a woman who left him to go to New York. But instead of falling into weeping and tears – as 99% of the songs do when referring a woman who leaves a man – this guy is indeed totally grounded and even relaxed and is not only satisfied with the fact the she has gone there but also (and this is the most interesting, powerful part) that she will eventually return to him. Why? Well first because she will not put up with the pressure of living in such a big city and then that she will never find anyone like him, who is so “handsome, good and nice”! Aside from the obvious, even ironic presumption, I do not remember a song in which a guy treats a farewell with such simplicity and confidence. He even goes further and strikes back saying that “this devil can stay there and never return”, showing that a man is better alone than with someone who is not worth of his time.
So you thought that El Gran Combo would never bring the topic of falling in love and behaving like a fool? Oh yes, they have done it and in this song they talk about all the “symptoms” one goes through when entering this state: that she has made him wasted and half crazy; that he has put him shaking day and night and that basically she wants to send him to the grave; that he can neither sleep nor eat and that she has turned him into a crap of man. The list goes on and on but the main difference is that, instead of being needy or cheesy, they are simply playful and never show any sign of putting themselves in the hands of women. For instance, even if the singer refers that he might have fallen in love due to her eyes or way of walking, he stresses the fact that she put a curse on him (the exact words are tú me hiciste brujería/you have made me some witchcraft) and calls her a witch all the time. The bottom line is that he not only never pedestalizes her but also labels the act of falling in love, with some irony in between, as a negative thing.
Las Hojas Blancas
Everyone gets old. That is an undeniable fact which no one will ever be able to change. But the way and the simplicity El Gran Combo talks about that gives chills even to the most indifferent being. In just few verses, they refer how these hojas blancas (white leaves) are falling onto their scalp, how the years have been passing and how the body is getting more and more exhausted; but also how this is a moment for introspection, thinking about the good things one has achieved but also about the regrets for all the errors done in the past. A beautiful song which shows that being a man is also about knowing and accepting that everything in life is ephemeral.
In the end, it does not matter whether you are into salsa or even into Latin music. The point here is just to show you that to be an alpha male is much more than being connected to some group or type of music, such as the obvious choice which is heavy metal. And if there is a band which has shown for more than fifty years what is to make music with love, but always keeping a masculine identity behind it, that band is exactly El Gran Combo de Puerto Rico.
Feel free to discover them – maybe you will be surprised and you will enjoy their music a lot – but in case you do not want to, at least make sure that you support music made by not only really talented musicians but also bands which have not been “pussyfied” or emasculated by the modern society.
As we register 50% of what we see and hear, if you keep watching such YouTube videos as this one, there will be a moment in which you will become too soft, a surefire way to soften your testosterone levels and to ruin your masculinity in the long run.