Myths of Game
Oh game, the magic formula which will get you laid with all the ladies you want, just by snapping your fingers and using just some crucial attraction switches…or you wish! I know that it is great to picture something in your mind, to believe in it and to make it happen but the truth is that, most of the times, the reality will not match what you intend to. And oftentimes, it will indeed fail for a wide margin and the results will be the total opposite of you had imagined in the first place.
Game is a concept which has shown up about twenty years ago, but it was only after the release of the books The Mystery Method (by Mystery), in 2005, and The Game (by Neil Strauss), in 2007, that it has actually achieved the spotlight and gained a worldwide popularity. Main concepts such as survival and replication value, being unreactive in the presence of a hot woman, negging or the push-pull technique are quite embedded in the minds of every man who just does not have women offered to him on a silver plate.
Since then, much information has been added up to these previous concepts, and right now, in 2017, we have so many different sources and opinions that it is difficult to define what is really game all about. But, definitions aside, there are many “truths” which are told daily which are very beautiful theoretically and might seem convincing at first glance but which are, in the hard way of life, pure bullshit. They might be partial true – something which I will explain in the conclusion of this article – but they are far from being what really makes a man getting women. So the following are, in my honest opinion, the ones which are the most misleading and simply put men blindfold:
“Looks do not matter”
Oh yeah pal, right…just as “money does not bring happiness”, this is one of the biggest false statements of current times. Looks do matter, and a lot! Be honest with yourself: do you have the same reaction when you see a Fiat than when you see a Lamborghini passing by you? Or when you buy a certain birthday cake, don’t you think you will go for the one which looks indeed better, with lots of strawberries and its perfect colors?
We are humans and we like what is beautiful simply because it is something which is not so common, a much rarer resort. And, as we all know, there is this obsession about what is exclusive and about one cannot easily obtain. It is not by being 1,90mt, blond with blue eyes that you will get all the women you want. It is just that actually most of them will give you the opportunity for introducing yourself. And if we think about it, this is eventually the most difficult part of any interaction with a girl: the beginning, where many will give you no chance at all to even let you start a conversation.
“If you have tight game, you will persuade any girl”
Somehow, especially among the Manosphere, there is this uncontested truth that if your game is tight, you will eventually convince and turn any girl on. She might be hesitant and even totally suspicious about you in the beginning of the interaction but, if spit your ruthless game wisely and make her feel comfortable, you will get a free pass to her panties. Well, in 90% of cases, the only person who you will be able to convince will be yourself.
First, you must have the notion that women pre-select a lot and have pre-conceived ideas all the time, which means that the moment you show up in front of them, they will already have a (almost) definite answer regarding whether they would, in theory, sleep with you.
Then, you think that, just like a job interview, you have about ten minutes to present yourself, but the reality is that the woman will already have decided about you by the end of the first minute.
Last but not least, most guys only think about gaming the girl, forgetting that most of the times she will simply not give him the slightly chance to do it so, either by coming with typical excuses (e.g.: “sorry I have to go” or “I have a boyfriend, bye”) or by even not allowing the guy to speak to her for a second.
“Aloofness is the key to attract women”
Unless you are a rock star or someone famous, then I regret to inform you that such attitude won’t do shit. I know that this MGTOW (Men Going Their Own way) mindset might sound great and quite logical to every man, but logic is something which is not considered in any formula used by women.
Imagine you go to a club, full of confidence and well dressed, and you say that you will just be in your corner and not caring about girls. This may arouse the curiosity of some but, in case you do not have great looks (see point number one), women will not even notice you or, even if they will, you will simply be ignored. Nowadays women have so many possibilities and thirsty males around them, that a guy pretending to be a king in his golden throne will simply look as a poor prince on a wooden chair.
“Sense of humor will get you all the women”
I am pretty sure you hear this all the time and that it is an undeniable fact supported by all the women who are interviewed on camera: “The main trait I look for in a man is his sense of humor”. Yeah right, this is why comedians only bang 9s and 10s and have an endless queue of stunners in their waiting list.
But let us go by parts: of course, it is important and valuable to have a good sense humor, but there is a huge difference between being natural funny or someone who teases women with no effort and guys who are clowns or use jokes all the time.
In addition, (hot) women choose men based on many factors and I can guarantee you that sense of humor is not on the top of the list. Think about all the hotties who you have seen in the last couple of months, who were paired, and try to think how the guys they were with looked like. I am pretty sure that, instead of the Seinfeld looking type, he was more like the serious, in good shape and with a cool style alpha.
“You just need to be yourself”
Right, to be yourself…and what is that, by the way? If we look at things on a much deeper level, what is indeed yourself? Is that guy who likes to fart and to watch football with friends? Or the one who struggles to be independent and to have his own business? Or even the sensitive person who likes to watch drama films and think about the real problems of life? In the end, a human being is a sum of different moments and behaviors so, in practical terms, there is not really a definition of oneself.
So regarding women, forget about this bullshit and just tease her and seduce her as much as you can. This includes, of course, using the so-called game, by trying to hit some crucial buttons which will naturally arise her sexual appetite. And talking about naturally, this is actually the part you should care about “being yourself”: whatever you do or tell her, make sure you do it as natural as you can, because women are liars by nature, that is why they “smell” immediately when someone is not being authentic.
So what is left?
Ok right now you must be wondering: “Pistol you come here writing about game and showing its weak points and inefficiencies but, on the other hand, you have a section called “Women & Game” and you regularly write about this topic! So what are you trying to say?” If you have been following me, then you know that I am a person who does not accept things easily, especially if my experience tells me that these work in a very different way. I have been chasing after women since I was 16 years old and, if game indeed were a science and a bullet-proof method, then I would be surrounded by 9s and 10s, living every man’s dream. But I am not, because I know things do not work that way and that few actually do. Most of (hot) women of the world will never give a shit about you, even if you come with the best tactics and tight game of the world. Period.
On the other hand, there are still some traits of parts of game which indeed work and are the key to get you laid. But before going to those major three points, let me just break it down the myths I have referred above and give you a possible solution to each one of them:
“Looks do not matter”: Well they do, but this also means that you can improve a lot the way you show yourself to the world. Instead of lying down on the sofa eating chips every day, get up off that fat ass and start exercising almost every day and caring about your diet; instead of spending money in video games, why you do not invest in a cool wardrobe and pair of watches, which will improve your overall appearance? Instead of being lazy about your hair and beard, just trim and cut them regularly. In the end, your external appearance says a lot about what is going inside, so make sure you externalize the best of yourself.
“If you have tight game, you will persuade any girl”: use game just on the girls who have interest in the first place. I remember one night I was talking to a hot girl in a club in Goiânia, Brazil, whom for a couple of hours I was believing I would eventually convince and take home, until a good friend of mine came, grabbed me literally by the hand and put me in front of another girl who was not so hot, but who immediately had a positive reaction towards me. Five minutes later I was making out with her and one hour after I was seeing her jumping skills on the top of me.
“Aloofness is the key to attract women”: Well I am the first one to be aloof, especially because that is also part of my personality. But do not think that I do it cheaply and apply it in every situation. Let us say I am in a club dancing next to a hot girl: first I will ignore her and pretend that I have not even seen her. But contrary to what most of the “players” do, I do not keep pushing that same button all the time. Instead, there is a time in which I will approach her and tell her something funny. And then, I go back to my “distant state”. Basically, aloofness only works…after you give! Or better said, this “I do not give a fuck attitude” will only work after you make the girl notice you (but in a very aloof way), which will eventually arouse her interest.
“Sense of humor will get you all the women”: First of all, understand that sense of humor is far from being a key point to get you laid. Even so, there is a part of it which actually works and should be one of your main tools to seduce women: and that one is called teasing. For instance, my father is someone who has a great sense of humor but whose jokes are totally based on logic and he has the tendency to be a little bit “beta”, especially in the presence of women. The result is that I am pretty sure that he has rarely gotten laid because of his jokes (he is indeed the stereotype of the nice, correct guy). So whenever you are talking to an attractive woman, just be unapologetic and boldly playful with her!
“You just need to be yourself”: taking into consideration this last point, maybe you are a shy guy who has a great sense of humor but who has difficulties to get loose around women. Well, this is the part you have to learn “how to be yourself”, meaning that you must force your natural to be bold. I am a person who has indeed a very timid personality and if I relied on my natural combination of hormones and thoughts, then I would never be able to talk to anyone. But no, throughout all these years I have made a tremendous effort to feel comfortable among women – and consequently to make them feel comfortable – in order that I can game them in a much more natural way. So every time I have a hot one in front of me, my subconscious mind already knows how shall I talk to her and how to tease her. Just like what I said regarding being aloof, here a similar principle applies: only be really yourself when you are already having something with the girl or in a phase in which she has already lowered her guard (e.g.: after a couple of dates and you have already kissed her).
Having said this, the following are what I consider to be the only factors which actually increase your odds to get laid:
Approach until you have no more energy left on you. If game could be defined by one rule, that one would be to talk as many women as you can, especially the ones you do not know. You can have the best physique and appearance in the world, a PhD in Game and Women and being the coolest guy on the neighborhood that, if you do not move your feet towards that stunner you see on the bus stop or at the bar, then I regret to tell you that those factors will be useless. Fortune favors the brave, which is just a fancy way of saying “take action”! And if you do it regularly and consistently, you will eventually reach a point in which you will not care (so much) about being rejected and, more important, you will know what to say and how to filter girls who are truly receptive to you. And this leads us to the next point…
Experience will make you aware of which girls are available and even DTF (Down to Fuck). Most of the times, the secret to get laid is not to have the tightest game in the world but actually to be able to spot opportunities. Sometimes it is better to go for the that 6,5 or 7, who perhaps does not call an immediate attention to anyone, than to think you will eventually convince that cute 8 to sleep with you. The latter can have a good first reaction towards you and you two even have a nice conversation for about one hour. But if in the first ten minutes the interaction will not advance a bit – in terms of physical escalation – then you never will. And then you just wasted your time, when you could have simply gone for the discreet girl who was just hoping that you would have approached her.
Confidence! Bear in mind that there are always going to be thousands of guys better looking than you, with more money and even tighter game (whatever that means). But in the end, it all comes down to this: confidence is the most powerful weapon a human being can possess. It destroys any barrier, terrible backgrounds and even painful diseases. The exact same person can be a champion, a successful businessman and a guy who bangs every girl in the block or just someone who carries endless burdens on his shoulders and is frustrated and unhappy as hell. So it is up to you to decide whether you want to play the champion’s league or just to throw yourself into the gutter of life.