The painful truth of what comes after a knee surgery
First of all, I clearly understand that if you have never gone or do not have planned to go through a surgery, you will most likely ignore this article faster than a hot girl who deletes the messages of her beta orbiters. Don’t worry, until three months ago I would have done exactly the same, as this was none of my business. Nevertheless, in case you have already gone through surgery or unfortunately you will need to go soon, then I strongly recommend you to read the following lines.
I am 32 years old and my entire life I have always thought that I would never get older or, at least, that I would have the physical condition and could do exactly the same things I used to do when I was 20 or 25. Concerning football (soccer), one of my passions and something I have been practicing regularly since I was a ten-year old boy, I had always been capable to fight, to struggle and to run with whomever opponent would show up in front me.
But, in the end of May, during a match and one week after I had completed 32, I completely tore my meniscus and also got close to a ligament tear (right knee), since it had been going through hard knocks on the ground for more than twenty years. On the first month, I thought it would just be a swollen knee and that a couple of weeks would be sufficient to fully recover it. But after one month and a half with pain, I decided to go to my house doctor who then sent me to do a MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) and the rest became what I had most feared: that I would need to go through surgery and that, aside from the meniscus, my ACL (Anterior cruciate ligament) would need to be cut and then replaced, with tendons from other parts of my leg. So that day came, more precisely the 22nd of August 2017.
And what I want to tell you about it is exactly what comes after the surgery, especially the first two weeks (I am starting writing this article exactly in the beginning of the third one). I know that the first reaction is to check these YouTube motivational videos, which show you the quick and powerful comeback one has after leaving the surgery block. What they do not tell you is that, before you are able to lift, to rebuild your muscle and to rock the world, you will go through a phase which will test your limits and almost drive you nuts. But before you freak out, keep calm and listen to what I have to say:
You will need a woman on your side
Unless you have your mother ready and available to help you, then I strongly recommend that you start slamming some girls hard, in order that you get some of them wired to you. The only way you can have a woman attached to you is both by giving her a strong lead and by fucking her as good as you can. Of course that this might not be enough, as it is also fully dependent on the nature of the girl.
For instance, if after a couple of bangs she still does not offer herself to cook for you (or worse, refuses it when you ask for it), then let me tell you that you are in the presence of a “modern, independent woman” who will never do shit rather to please herself – so you can already guess the help you would receive in case you were at home incapacitated, desperately looking for help for every small action you can think of.
All the basic needs and normal stuff will suddenly become a challenge
In the previous paragraph I talked about you needing some help. Well, trust me that will be the case since everything will suddenly become a real challenge! Want to go to the toilet? First you will need to sit down, then you will never be comfortable with your leg and when you stand up you will have to grab somewhere which you will support your weight. Ah, and do not forget to wash your hands, which will take you a couple of minutes more! Or maybe you just want to go eat something because you are hungry? The process of making a quick sandwich and grabbing a yogurt will now be a never-ending story, as you will need to think about walking to the fridge, grab a plate, look for a knife, bend down to pick up the things and so on. So again, please make sure that you will have someone totally ready and available to help you on these small things, otherwise you will have a big problem.
The bottom line is that what before was a simple process will now be a true hassle, with many steps in between until you reach the final goal (e.g.: going to the kitchen to have a glass of water).
You will get emotional and unstable
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I am a guy who usually contains his emotions and sometimes I think that I am too cold or aloof in certain situations or even towards people whom I could be warmer with. But this last month of August, I have beaten all my personal record in terms of “getting emotional”.
First of all, the month started with the death of my 12-year-old dog and I believe that we all agree that losing a beloved pet can be one of the most sensitive experiences one can go through. But then, after my surgery, I suddenly became this delicate being I never thought I would turn into. Two days later, while watching some YouTube videos showing injuries and also recoveries from famous athletes, I suddenly started crying like the world was about to end. Or also when I felt the frustration of not being able to do anything on my own, I began to shed tears as a mother who sees his son departing to a foreign country.
But do not think that your extreme susceptibility comes only regarding negative things: when watching some funny stuff, I found myself laughing my ass off constantly, as if all the material was that hilarious.
The pain will always be present
Some days before my operation, I received a piece of paper from the doctor talking about the whole medication I would need to take, including the pain killers, but it only referred to take them until three days after the surgery. I found it a little bit strange but I thought that from the third day on the pain would eventually be much weaker (after all, we always trust a specialist’s opinion on the matter, right?). Well, I could not be more wrong! Especially after the fourth day, the pain returned in full force and I wondered how the hell the hospital had not told me that the anguish would continue at least for some days more. In any case, I did not care and kept taking the pills in order that I would have, at least, a bearable pain, which would give some rest to my mind.
Fast-forward two weeks and I have much less pain than I had before – and I have also reduced the intake of painkillers to maximum one per day and using also the ones with a lower doses – but even so, it is always present, getting stronger during the night-time.
Worse than the pain, you will get desperate due to sleep deprivation
Talking about that, it is exactly at the night-time that you will be faced with more desperation, a moment in which your anxiety levels will skyrocket and you will just need to find clever ways to ignore it or, at least, to attenuate the pain. I am a person who needs a perfect environment to sleep – dark room, total silence and a nice temperature – otherwise I will be constantly awake. So as you can imagine, to feel some pain in my body is something which for sure impedes me to have a pleasant rest when the moon is up.
But that is exactly what has been happening in the last couple of weeks, as the pain in my leg starts to get stronger as the day goes by. So whenever the night comes, not only I am too anxious to sleep but also that annoying pain totally blocks me of having relaxing dreams. So it has not been uncommon to wake up several times during the night, with this feeling of swelling in my leg, just to rush to the kitchen to get some ice and place it directly on my knee. It surely eases the pain, but it does not expel the anxiety, and in the end I have had more than two weeks of bad sleep – something which would happen to me, under normal circumstances, maximum once in every two weeks.
You will feel worthless and unmotivated, as your energy and testosterone levels will reach a new low
All my life, I have always been very active. Even now (or well, three months ago, before I got injured), being 32 years old, I had in my weekly regular agenda such things as playing football, going to the gym or dancing. So as you can imagine, sport is a major part of me, also in regard to how my body and mind are programmed to face the reality. It is also important to state that, aside from the physical strain or fatigue I would naturally have once in a while, my energy level and testosterone would generally be on high levels, that was why I could pack so many things (aside from sports, I still have a job, a couple of ladies to please and also to write some articles) in just one day.
But suddenly, when this important part of my life was suddenly gone and I saw myself with plenty of time available, it would be expected that I would have the perfect conditions both to develop my intellect and to speed up/advance with all the projects I had in hands, right? Unfortunately, this could not be further from the truth. Because I do not have the engine (sport) which usually fuels my body, I have found myself numb and lacking motivation. Moreover, the fact that not only I can not move properly but also I get “distracted” many times by my injured leg, makes that in the end of the day I am unmotivated, lacking the will to overcome this worthless state of mind.
The good News
You think a lot about your life. While this can also and obviously put me back on this “negative track” and bring me some disappointment, the truth is that I find myself constantly thinking how I can provide more value to the world, in order that I can escape the rat race and live the life I want. Many thinks will certainly be unreasonable or unrealistic, but the reality is that I have thought more – and also have caught up with work which was in stand-by – in my future in the last two weeks than perhaps in the six months before my injury. And I have also made a couple of adjustments/improvements, so that my goals remain clear and attainable, and just not rotting in any hidden drawer of my mind.
You put into perspective what does not matter. When one has a routine, he or she tends to give importance or to get annoyed by the small things which come across daily. Being your colleague who is always shit-talking, your boss who always tries to control your work or the stupid, conceited girls you see in the bus playing around with their phones, the truth is that more often than not one has the tendency to become affected and absorb all the bullshit and small things which happen around him or her. However, when you get real sick or have an injury like the one I have, you tend to see things in a much broader perspective and to look at the big picture, prioritizing therefore your main goals and discarding what is simply a waste of time to your life.
You gain anger and rage to become stronger, faster and leaner when you will be back in action. I am a guy who has always been ambitious and persistent, especially concerning my physical shape. Nevertheless, due to some lack of time or simply because I have always done too many activities, without focusing on a single one, I have never been able to reach excellence in any of them. But right now, I only think about the time I will be able to go the gym again, in order that I can restore all my musculature and even reach a better point than before. In addition, I also want to train my flexibility and strength, in order that I can use my body as tool of what my mind wants to achieve. So as you can see, an injury it is something like a New Year’s resolution, in which you make a list about the things you want to improve. But contrary to the latter, especially if you have always been a sportsman, you will make sure that you will stick to the plan and will you not bullshit your objectives;
You start learning new skills, doing things you had left on hold many years ago or even improving the ones you already do. When you already do a lot of stuff, you tend to fantasize about adding more things to your work pot, in order that you become a very “complete being”. But the raw truth is that, if you have a job and you already have two or three parallel activities – like I used to have – you will never be able to do take new things seriously, since you will not have the time to turn it into a habit. However, when you suddenly do not have a job (at least temporarily) and you can not move your body either, then suddenly your start catching up with your Russian lessons daily. Or grabbing your guitar and practicing those tunes you had not played for more than five years. Or even finishing that DJ set you had started two years ago but has yet just a mix of three songs. The advantage of this is, in case you are able to turn a couple of these “extras” into a habit – while you are still sick/injured – then, when you will be back in action with your job and sport, you will see that suddenly you will find the time to fit these activities in your busy schedule.
(Bonus point) Your sexual desire will not drop but actually increase. Beforehand, I thought that, aside from my physical incapability to move my body properly, my sexual life would be another thing which I would need to put aside for while. But when I arrived home after the surgery and I was able not to think so much about all the hassle concerning my knee, I started looked at my partner and her tight leggings and immediately thinking: “oh got, I wanna bang that”. The question was how, since the only thing I could do was to be lying down on my bed like an old man. Well, but let’s say that I am far from being a grandfather, so later on that night I had my helpful girl friend jumping – gently and carefully, of course – on the top of me, with me having one of the hardest boners of my life. I thought it would be due to the effects of the anesthesia but, two weeks after the surgery, I can tell you that I have been having sex almost everyday, with my friend down there showing that he does not give a fuck about his injured cousin knee.