I do not even need to talk about 2006, when being an European and approaching a girl in Brazil would mean that you would, worst case scenario, kiss her, while the normal would be that she would be chasing you on the weeks after. Nor when meeting a Czech or Polish girl in 2007 would mean months of contact, with her sending you regular messages on how you were doing.
No, I can move some years forward, eventually up to two or three years ago, in which making out with a girl still meant something. Ok, maybe after a nice interaction, collecting a girl’s number would eventually lead to nowhere but oh boy, you can be pretty sure that If I got some kind of intimacy, even if that was just kissing her for some moments, she would want to see me again. She would reply to my messages and, even better, she would start conversations out of nowhere on a regular basis.
And now we can talk about 2018, probably the worst year in history for single guys looking either for a long-lasting relationship or, at least, for trustworthy women who keep in touch for more than a couple of days. What before happened just in America or in the Nordic countries, where girls would go silent or even disappear in the day after, is now a common trait spread all over the world. It does not matter whether you are in Colombia, Denmark or Slovakia: a girl who is at least a 6 will have plenty of options and, unless you have an above the average value to offer her, she will easily next you.
Doing a retrospective of what has happened since the last year, almost all of the girls whom I had a nice interaction with, including some teasing – and in some cases making out with them – quickly lost their interest, being on the same night or some weeks afterwards (the latter in the best case scenarios). Have I become uglier? Have I become more uninteresting? Have I lost my seductive skills? Without wanting to be too conceited, I highly doubt it.
The current State of Things
Social media has fucked up the sexual market. It is not worth being here coming with one thousand theories of why you and I are having ten times more difficulty to land quality girls nowadays.
What before was a (real) game of dozens, is now a game of thousands of followers in her Instagram account. What before was one in every one hundred – you, I or any other guy who would stand out above the average – is now one hundred in every one thousand, meaning that the unique value you eventually had (or, at least, that you were perceived of), no longer exists.
Sure, you can still make a girl get attracted to you, but that time frame will not last for long. In some cases, it may not even last for one night or not even more than one hour. Girls are reducing more and more their attention span and, unless you are the famous guy on the block or a barman who always keeps them entertained, they will easily get distracted and get rid of you quickly.
For instance, some nights ago I approached a very hot Canadian in the middle of a street party in Portugal and, due to my confidence and boldness (ok, the alcohol helped as well), I could take her inside a bar, dancing with her and start making out with her just five minutes afterwards. But, out of nowhere and without any reason whatsoever – well, we both know that reasoning does not mean much in how girls think – she started being distracted and, quicker than a lighting bolt, she was already being the center of the attention of about four or five guys. I still tried a couple of re-enganging moves (in a very aloof way, of course), but deep down I knew the game had already been lost.
But even if one can claim that “night girls” are all sluts, what to tell about a Slovenian girl whom I met at a salsa party in Barcelona, whom I had a real connection with and writing me pro-actively and constantly in the first two weeks, but who then became a “new, different person”, not answering to my messages or only replying them as if she was doing me some kind of favor. And before you ask or claim something, no, I was neither being needy nor pushing hard and trying to impress. She simply lost her interest.
I could go on and on with the examples, but the reality is that this “golden pussy effect” is so ingrained in girls’ minds nowadays, that I suspect that not even they realize how they have gone from point A to point I (indifference) so fast.
This is the sad state of things but, instead of complaining further and talk about the negative side of it, it is time to talk about the real solutions which can still save your dick from being sold on eBay.
Assess her real intentions
Yes, sometimes you just have to consider that the girl you are talking to is not really that interested in you. She might have laughed a lot from your jokes and even made out with you, but deep down she is just using you to boost her ego. If she is playing hard to get, just throw a “test question” to measure her real interest (e.g.: “Are you a good cook?”, “Which wine do I buy for us, red or white?”. If she bites the bait and keeps the conversation moving, great, after all she was always serious about you.
On the other hand, if she does not answer, takes a couple of days to answer or comes with a total different topic, then you have the clear proof that she never had the interest in the first place. Because trust me: if a girl likes and wants something with you, she not only will ALWAYS answer to your text messages (and usually not taking too long) but, and more important, she will write to you proactively and on a regular basis.
Let’s say the girl is really interested in you. You get to know her, you dance with her, you kiss her and then you keep in touch. On the day after, you have a message from her, lots of smiles and questions. But guess what? If you do not meet her soon, then in two days these string of messages will be reduced to the half. And sooner than you will realize, she will not write you proactively anymore. No, you will need to be the one striking up the conversation with a text message.
You see, girls are emotional beings and totally react according to what they feel. But when before they had no other options and would keep you as a lasting, perhaps the only option, nowadays you can quickly be replaced by those younger, more attractive guys who fill her facebook with posts and likes. So before you think what you can do to keep her, I can already give you the answer: ask her how her plan looks like for the next couple of days and meet her as quick as possible.
Play the numbers game
You were hoping that I would not bring up this topic, wouldn’t you? Guess what my friend: you need to man up and start talking to all the possible (attractive) women you can. I do not care whether it is hard, whether you are missing some self-confidence or whether girls usually blow you off. In 2018, there is almost no any other way to be successful. What before was a number game of meeting a couple of women per week, nowadays at least one per day is necessary!
Imagine you are unemployed and desperate to find a job. First, you will receive lots of negative answers, saying that either they have already found someone better for the job or your profile does not match the position’s description. In any case, even if these “No” are never pleasant, you will keep sending applications until you get some positive answer, right? So see women exactly like companies: most of them will reject you and do not give a fuck about you. But you will only need one to put you back on track.
Focus on a solid social circle
Remember what I talked on my first podcast’s episode? Well, this golden rule is what distinguishes guys who have a constant supply of nice, attractive girls from the guys who need to struggle to bang a “6”. Yes, girls have today more attention than ever but if there is something which they will always rely on, that is to meet and trust people whom they meet through their groups of friends.
If you are that guy who is the friend of her girl friend, then she not only will see you as someone trustworthy but also will not have the tendency – or perhaps the “courage” – to dump or ignore you so easily. Call it education or shame, but if you meet her within her social circle, then she will almost have the subconscious mental obligation to fuck with you (in case you do things right, of course)!
Find a niche and get valuable within it
This is somehow related to the previous point but has even better chances of success. Why? Because you are mixing that comfort and trust of the social circle with being someone who has a valuable asset (or more) which women always look for.
For instance, let us say that your niche is to dance salsa. So you will start going to the local parties, meeting some people (mostly women) and becoming a familiar face. Meaning that after some months you will already greet everybody, whenever you enter any given party or event. In addition, you are developing yourself as a dancer, so you will be perceived as someone totally valuable to the girls who dance. And for the girls who don’t or who are just starting, you will be seen as a king, a reference they will be totally curious about.
The same goes for the guitarist or the barman who work are that trendy bar. They will have the regular clientele they will see week after week, so first they will become a familiar face. Then, because these guys are doing something which is either entertaining the girls or adding some value (e.g.: offering free shots), they will suddenly become irresistible to many women. So between the normal guy and this “working” guy, guess who will never go home alone in the end of the night?
First understand one thing: most of the rejections, silences and no follow-ups you will get will not necessarily be because of you. Girls in 2018 will do it with you, with me or with any other guy, unless this fellow is an Instagram or a Rock Star. They have so many options and sources of attention that you have to see them as a two-year child who has birthday and has the house filled with guests, sweets and stuff, which will diverge his or her concentration all the time.
On the other hand, when I say that this girls’ behavior has nothing to do with you, I am assuming you have your basics covered: that you are in good shape, that you dress relatively well and with style, that you have a perfect hygiene and scent, that you know how to tease a girl and that you never get needy or insistent. If not, just go learning the foundations, fix some of this stuff and then come back with an improved version of yourself.
So after understanding these two concepts, it is time for you to focus on the indicators I just suggested before.
Assess whether she is really interested or whether she is just playing games to get more validation. If the latter is the case, just move on, as there is plenty of fish in the sea.
Point one checked? Great, so act fast my friend! There is nothing more frustrating than a girl who girl who liked you, but whom you let run away, just because you either had bad logistics (e.g.: no car to pick her up or money to take her on a date) or you were simply too indecisive in setting plans.
Or let us say things are heating on the same night you meet her but you are somehow afraid to screw things up. Well, simply escalate on her smoothly, going for the kiss whenever you feel the opportunity is there but also giving her some space and letting her gain confidence on you in between – if you play this push-pull game wisely, you will increase your chances of taking her her home.
Whatever is the case, always remember that a girl who likes you can suddenly fade away, for many reasons that not even them know about. So make sure you talk and interact with as many women as you can.
Last, the two most effective strategies you can follow are both to be inserted in a good social circle – in which you can have privileged access to attractive women – and to develop yourself and become valuable in any given set or niche. These will cost you much more time and effort in the beginning but, if you do it consistently, you will reap rewards which most men do not even dream about.
Whatever you do, just make sure you do it with a positive mindset but that you do not fall into the trap of putting women as priority. Not only they will sense this neediness but also you will be wasting most of your time chasing them.
The bottom line is that you must be on one hand cool and relaxed but on the other decisive and bold, keeping increasing your own value on the side. In the end, whatever happens, always remember that if girl A, B or C simply disappear, you do not give a fuck, because you are a man who will always be able to find new options. Isn’t it what abundance mentality is all about?