Nowadays it is easy to hide. It is easy to be unreliable. It is easy to pretend that a certain thing or event has nothing to do with you. In these modern, strange times, anonymity is the key used to lock the safe of real human emotions.
What before was a game of presence and reality, is today a game of shadows and subterfuges, where everyone is trying to get the best for him or herself, without really caring whether others will suffer any harmful consequence.
Yes, the online world has brought many advantages. For instance, the fact that you are reading these lines and that I am also communicating them in such an easy way for both parties, only highlights the power of the internet. Or when you need a recipe, a solution, a map, a name, whatever, just google it that you will have it.
But while the situation is getting better everyday for the individual, it is simply worsening for the collective. Many may argue that the online has turned the world into a smaller place, bringing people together quickly and easily, therefore strengthening human bonds. Well, I could not disagree more!
What I see today is a society totally losing its values, due to the nature of “everything happening right now, at an unrestrained pace”. What before was a matter of being a complete human being, with a solid foundation, is now a thing from the past, where it counts much more whether you have a nice body to show in Instagram than the friendship proofs you have given all your life.
Nevertheless, just like we still need food, water and food to keep us alive, it is exactly in moments like these that the strong should emerge and take over society. That not all, but few of us, say “present”, jump into the front row and show the world what humanity must be based on. Not on the coolest social media, neither on the fastest cars nor on the biggest booty, but on these real values:
There are the normal people, the ones who survive and go with the flow, and then the ones who fight and struggle for something more, who have that burning fire and go after what they truly want.
More than a certain passion, they are eager to become independent and to be their own bosses. Therefore, they are always looking for ways to develop themselves and to add skills to their own portfolio, to then deliver some kind of value to the world.
In today’s world, more than ever, you can not settle and be satisfied with what the system and society give you. Because, let’s face it, that will always be average: a normal existence lived under thousand rules, based on a soulless job whose paycheck will only allow you to have food on the table, to pay your bills and to be free two days a week.
So you have two choices here: either you settle and you are satisfied (resigned?) with what is there, what the system so altruistically offers you, or you fight the against all the odds, embarking in a journey into the unknown – where the outcome will never be certain but always limitless.
And if you are a real man looking for more in his life, I suspect that you and I clearly know which path to choose.
If eagerness and the will to do something (and here I am talking about a real motive, not just temporary motivation) is the start, then discipline is the engine which will keep the car running. Because most of the people always start something: started to eat healthy, started to hit the gym, started with a business, started to build a career, you name it. But how many of those have kept those activities consistently? I give you the answer: few, very few!
Because the starting point is nice, it always motivates you. Humans are somehow moved by what is new. Just think about when you receive a present, when you buy new clothes, a new computer or even a car, and the feeling you have when touching these items for the first time. But then, after the sparkle is gone, very little is left to keep you going.
And there is where the discipline comes in hand, the number one tool which differentiates the weak from the strong. The thinkers from the doers. The poor from the rich.
It is how you can turn any activity into a habit, by doing it everyday, so that you can give a structure to your dreams and become successful.
The caveman times are long gone but the world has never been more unstable, more uncertain and more unpredictable. True, we live in safe times and the welfare is something we usually take for granted.
But since there are so many people moving around, so many cultures interlaced with one another and so many identities mixed together, you never know which situation you can fall into tomorrow.
Maybe you are at a bar and suddenly you and your two friends are menaced by ten angry guys looking for a fight. Or perhaps you are at a public event and a couple of morons start approaching aggressively your girlfriend. Or eventually you are somewhere stuck in traffic and suddenly a cranky driver begins to insult you and wants to take that discussion to the last consequences.
Wherever these situations are, you have to be aware that sometimes you really have to man up and show your masculine presence. I am not saying that you should enter in a fight or resort to violence – no, actually you should avoid it at all costs, because you never know who is on the other side. Still, you must be ready to face the danger, even if that only means to show your points and to try to clarify the situation.
Furthermore, to demonstrate courage is not only related to possible physical confrontations. What about quitting your job to pursue your entrepreneurial dreams? Or move to a distant country to look for more and new opportunities? Yes, those require balls and believe that most of the people would never put themselves in such situations.
To put it simple, courage is what real men are made of.
This is eventually the most important trait a man can possess. Does every man have a price? Well, if you are integrous enough, the answer is no.
I know how must of the population think: “hey I give you 1000€ to dive in that lake of sludge”, or, “Would you rob that bank for 50.000€?” or “Would you kill your neighbor for 100.000€?”.
Think about the endless times and examples when you were asked similar questions. And while in most cases, if not all, the interrogations were just theoretical, what if they were indeed real? What if someone would pay you a certain amount for you to do something illegal, unethical or even criminal?
To have integrity means to have your values aligned with your personality and your actions. I am not saying that you can not think totally immoral stuff nor having wicked thoughts once in a while, but you should have principles you should abide by.
It means also that you can do whatever you want, following your standard of conduct, but without harming the others.
For instance, If I gave you 500€ to jump from a high cliff, it would be a challenge for you and you would not be disturbing anyone’s life, just yours. However, if I would give you 5000€ to jump in a sewage full of shit, would you still accept it?
Surely, you would not still be interfering with anyone’s lives, but you would mess (literally) your own principles. Or what about breaking into a magnate’s house to steal a priceless panting which would make you rich forever?
You see, to be integrous is to follow your principles, what you believe is right, even when no one is watching.
It is meeting by chance one of your best friend’s hot girlfriend and not making a move on her. It is not stealing something when no one is looking. It is breaking a piece of furniture at your friend mother’s house and assume that you did it, instead of sweeping the debris under the rug.
Last but surely not least, it comes the value of being reliable and trustworthy. It is the closest form of “having word” or “keeping promises”. It is basically what makes your words and your actions congruent.
Words used to be a sort of verbal contract. What one said served as a promise that he or she would indeed comply with those words and act accordingly.
But in today’s world, words mean shit. They are used so frequently and in vain in telephone texts, social media posts and irrelevant blogs that their force has somehow faded away.
“Sure we can meet later, just send me a text message”. But that message never comes. Or “Yes let us have that meeting tomorrow via Skype at 10:00”. But on the day after, only one person attends the call, looking at the computer screen like a moron.
It seems like, only if a big return is involved (do something in return of good money, a hot girl whom a guy wants to meet) then there will be reliability. Otherwise, the absence of news, the silence and “flakiness” will be the norm.
Without wanting sounding too conceited or better than others, I come from a time and generation where words mattered. I remember scheduling things and meeting people without even having any mobile phone (not even talking about smartphones).
So for me the formula is simple: whenever you promise something, stick to it.
If you say you are going to wake up at 08:00 to help your friend relocating, then do it. If you are an employee or someone who is assigned a task until the end of the week, then complete the task until the end of the week.
Whatever the situations are, don’t care about the state of today’s world: just keep what you said you would do.
And in case you see that you will not be able to attend an event/meeting or to complete a certain task on time, instead of using false promises, just admit that you will not be able to accomplish it. Even if you can leave a bad impression in the first place, at least you will show congruence in your actions.
Look, we have all been there and as humans we commit many mistakes. For instance, guys like you and I, who love women and have been playing this game for years, surely know what is to be with different women. So when you are sleeping today at Hannah’s, tomorrow at Maria’s and you end up with a one night stand with Julia, then we can not say that we are the most integrous and trustworthy persons on the planet.
(In my case, I admit that my sexual impetus and will to try different pussy is a weakness I have and has already jeopardized and put in stake my values. Still, there are things I would never do, such as be flirting or stealing a friend’s girl).
And what about courage, for instance? Sure, it is great to have it, but I bet all my chips that there have been many times in which you failed to be a brave man. Maybe you saw a bunch of assholes messing with a girl who was alone on the night train and you did shit. Or perhaps you were tired and ignored that the guys behind you were being totally disrespectful towards your girlfriend.
The point is that no one is exempt and everyone has his own flaws. If confession exists in the catholic church, it is because we are animals of sin who sometimes do not act correctly.
But while failing is an option, not reconsidering and keep falling in the same mistakes is not. Life should be a learning, improving process and not just a messy tide which comes and go.
Therefore, you must fight everyday to keep your values intact, guiding every step you take in life. Whatever the situations are, wherever the places are or whoever the persons you are interacting with are, just be congruent and align your words with your actions and act accordingly.
This will make you a more resilient person who, instead of seeking instant gratification and pure selfish benefits, will see the big picture in the long run. And those who look beyond and base their lives on strong values, are usually the ones who achieve greatness and become a role model to others.