The Colombian Diaries (2/5): Medellin
Day 1, Tuesday: after still a nice day on the pool spent in Cali, we went to the airport at around 4:30 pm and arrived in Medellin already in the evening. After a long trip towards the neighborhood El Poblado (the traffic jam was chaotic, since the main highway was closed for constructions), there we were at the hotel Alameda de la 10, which we left after a quick shower. We had a quick dinner and then started wandering around Parque Lleras, which is the core of the party but also where all the whores stop by. Without much going on, we went to the only club which was open and was called Gusto, a dark but a nice place on the top of a building, but whose clientele was about 75% of thirsty (but some good looking) male tourists and the other 25% of girls were either their foreigners counterparts or locals looking to be sponsored. So we decided that we would be better on the street drinking beer and chatting up any group of non-pro women who would eventually be somewhere around the park. And it seems that our prayers were heard, since the two girls I approached then were two Brazilian tourists. Since both Lewis and I speak Portuguese, we were able to immediately establish a very good connection with them and the fun and nice moment between us was getting better and better. Later on, two more girls and a guy arrived (he was paired with one of them) and the third friend was also a very fun one, so the level of entertainment was on the top level, with us joking around and with them taking well our jokes. But because not only Lewis is one of the worst “closers” I know but also there was an extra girl and we were in the middle of the street, none of us made any investment towards any of them. I just collected the number of the most attractive one and we all agreed to keep in contact.
Day 2, Wednesday: we woke up with a nice breakfast but then went back to sleep. When we woke up again, it was time to visit the city center, mainly the city hall square and the Parque de los pies descalzos, where the nice water museum is located. Back to our hotel, it was time to prepare for another night and I started “bugging” Lewis for us to go to El Tibiri, a classic salsa bar located in avenida la 70, were you can find just a local crowd, being perhaps the total opposite of the touristic El Poblado. It was not being easy to convince him but after five or six beers everyone gets looser and my friend Lewis was not an exception. We grabbed a taxi and when we arrived at the bar…it was empty! So we asked the driver whether he knew any other place and he suggested one called Suave, in Barrio Colombia. We arrived there and guess what? It was empty too! In any case, there was a guy and an attractive girl at the door and, within 30 seconds and from inside the car, I was able to tease the girl (saying that she would be my future wife) and to grab her brother’s telephone number, in order that we would meet afterwards in the bar Cacique (which we had seen before, in la 70), a place which only plays the traditional Colombian style of music vallenato. Once there, there were a group of two young girls and an adult couple, with all the women looking a bit like whores but, since this is Latin America, you never know if they are real pros or not. My friend Lewis, who were already on fire, started drawing the attention of one of the young girls and, not surprisingly, two minutes after there she was sitting at our table. Meanwhile, there was a couple next to me, who were offering me shots of rum, and the girl, who was quite cut, was really into me, by looking me into the eyes and touching my face, one behavior that I would never experience in such countries as Germany. But because the guy was cool and that would lead nowhere, I eventually cut the interaction with them. And then, to complete the nice scenario, the brother and sister we had met one hour before came in the bar, together with their mother and the brother’s girlfriend. Since the girl from Lewis had gone back to her table, he immediately run to join the “new group”, while I stayed at ours still suffering some “attempts” from the girl with the boyfriend, who was next to me. Meanwhile, the young girl came again to our table and Lewis, perhaps “afraid” that I would make a move towards her, got back to our table to escalate on her. So this worked somehow as a substitution, as I then joined the “new” group” and sat next the girl I had teased while in the taxi. She was much more interesting than she looked in the first place and we were indeed having a nice conversation, until Lewis suddenly appeared totally stressed out, claiming that “his girl” had asked him money for sex. Honestly I do not understand how such an experienced traveler like him can get so “shocked” about a phenomenon that, quite frankly, is very common in such countries in Latin America. In addition, the girl made him paying an extra shot of rum, a fact which put him angrier and even included a discussion with the manager of the bar. In the end, we left the place, I collected “my” girl’s number and took a taxi with Lewis, who kept complaining how we should have stayed in El Poblado and how I just take him to shitty places. Instead of seeing it as another experience, he did what most of the people just do: trying to find an explanation for what happened, as if the world were fair and had to keep things logical.
Day 3, Thursday: I woke up with lots of energy and went to the bank, to the laundry, to look for a salsa school (Ritmo Extremo, world champions in terms of salsa team men and women) and to enroll in the gym. In the afternoon, Lewis and I went to Pueblito Paisa, a very nice, natural set of traditional houses on the top of a mountain, but the rain turned the beautiful view into an unpleasant experience. We got back to our hotel and, while Lewis went to sleep, I went for some lifting, an activity which simply activates your mind and body, aside from the obvious fact that makes you look better. In the evening, we went to have dinner in a Colombian restaurant called Patria Mía, where the delicious food was accompanied by a live Latin band, a normal thing around here but, unfortunately, so rare in Europe and in the western world. Afterwards, we went to Babylon, a club known for its lady’s night and open bar on Thursdays, in which girls do not pay and the poor guys must pay 35000 pesos (around 12€). Inside, we were able to find lots of youngsters, almost no attractive girls and a bunch of thirsty guys, especially foreign tourists. We were in a very good mood, so we were able to attract lots of looks and to dance, teasing and joking around with some girls but the final result was nothing but a total null. We went to the streets and Lewis was already preparing for the retreat, while I was avid to continue the night. Since the luck protects the ones who keep struggling, I spotted a very cute girl who was sitting down in the park, eating chicken wings with her friends, so I approached her and the reaction was more than positive. After half an hour, and because that interaction would not go anywhere on that night, I collected her number telling that I would meet some people in another bar. I then decided to go back to Babylon – on my way I met two black girls whom I had interacted with before on this club and I went with both inside – and when I entered the place, there was a cute brunette coming into my direction, whom I then intercepted, towards which she reacted very positively. To sum things up, I went to smoke outside with her, to then grab a beer and go to another bar to dance with her, to come outside and start making out with her, to finally discover that she was a student finding (sexual) ways to pay her studies. I escorted her to the hostel she was staying at, while she kept insisting with me to take her to my hotel but, since not only I do not pay for sex (at least directly and for 99% of the times) but also because Lewis was sleeping in the room, I eventually kept her number and wished her a good night.
Day 4, Friday: I had already set up an afternoon meeting with the girl from Wednesday, Alejandra, but first was time to leave my hotel and not to share, for the first time on this trip, a room with Lewis, who on his turn was moving to the hostel Happy Buddha, famous for its parties every night (which basically are filled with 75% of male foreigners). Then, after checking-in, shaving, taking a good shower and making myself comfortable in my new hotel, I called Alejandra to check what he could do. Since she was with her brother, niece and nephew, our initial plans of going to some park were cancelled, so I agreed to meet them at the shopping Premium Plaza, as she dealt that she would then stay alone with me. We ate an ice-cream all together and after the rest of the family having left, Alejandra and I went for a walk, until we stop and sat down on a bench to talk a little bit more, before deciding where to head next. I had already suspected that this girl was somehow different (or too alternative), but the stories of her propensity for the sciences of the unknown, esotericism and magic just threw some red signals on me and made me wonder whether I was in the presence of another erratic, unstable being. We moved from there and took a cab to a park where, in her words, people were there to relax, having some nice conversations in a very tranquil atmosphere. And it was exactly there, with some beers setting the tone, that I got to know this mysterious girl, with a negative past but who in the end was still able to leave that dark abyss and become a very nice and, more importantly, a balanced, stable person. But since I am not here to bullshit anyone, of course that I was not only interested in getting to know her but also to have some action with her, so it was not a surprise that after a while I was making out with her, feeling on the outside a medium-size but perfect boobs and on the inside her fire starting to burn. We then got back to El Poblado to go to eat the best pizza in town – at a very tiny restaurant whose name I cannot recall – to then go to a bar called Mojito, which was playing amazing Salsa. One of the great things about Colombia, at least for me, is that most of the people, even if they do not dance this Latin rhythm, they have a great passion for it and really appreciate the music itself and Alejandra, fortunately, was not an exception. We talked, danced (or we tried to) and we kissed each other and in the end, I tried to take her to my hotel room. But, as in many occasions, “sorry to disappoint Andreas, but I am not one of these girls who simply go to bed on the first night, even if you are a great guy”. With no surprise and even with less disappointment, I wished her a great night and headed back to the night to meet my friend Lewis. But since he had no phone, I ended up the whole night hitting it like a mighty warrior, wandering around the bars and clubs as if there were no tomorrow. But, as it happened many times in Colombia, the search was totally fruitless, as almost everyone goes out in groups and the girls are strangely not available to meet new guys. I went home with this huge feeling of frustration and this even greater state of alcoholic intoxication, jerking off watching the material I had in my phone from girls I had elsewhere, to finally falling asleep as a baby.
Day 5, Saturday: Since the history is not made of pussies who only whine about their failures and bad luck, I woke up with the will to burn all the unnecessary calories I had accumulated on the previous night and, even with a big hangover, I went to the gym to train for real. It was hard but when I finished, I was ready to face the big Saturday. I first went with Lewis to the Botanical garden which was just neither amazing nor exciting so we got bored after a while and decided to go back home, to rest for a couple of hours in the afternoon. The seed of the night was already on when I met Lewis at around 7:00 pm in his hostel, to start (what we thought would be) a great night. We began with a round of beers – in between we had a quick meal just to show some respect to our stomachs – and continued with some “magical” long islands at the hostel’s which, for around 3€, were the perfect fuel to turn our engines totally on. The Happy Buddha was filled with male, good looking tourists, mostly from Anglo-Saxon countries, which would in theory make that place a scenario of terror but, as we not only spoke Spanish but also were in a great mood, it turned out to be a good “battlefield” in practical terms. Lewis as usual was on fire and already interacting with a group of people, including some nice girls. I, on the other hand, was more in a solo, tactical mode, waiting more and doing less, until I spot two cute local girls sitting on the couch, a perfect trigger to make me move my legs and do some direct, old style approach. In the beginning the two youngsters did not react so well and were indeed quite cold but, as the conversation (in Spanish, that helped of course) started flowing, they became suddenly two very nice ladies, whom I was having a nice time with. Meanwhile, Lewis had already seated on a table near me, where he was talking to two nice Brazilian women, while two other guys were just in a spectator mode on that same table. And when things should have followed the logical way, they began to go the other way around: I had already told “my girls” to go dancing somewhere and they were, in the end, ready for it; but Lewis, in one of his millions “entertaining” moments, could not leave the interaction with the two Brazilians – insisting with them to go out with us as well – even if it was quite clear that they were not in the mood and would stay there in any case. With such a big indecision, my girls left but told me to meet them at a bar close to the hostel – I had picked the number of one of them and we were in contact – and in the end it was just another painful half an hour of seeing Lewis looking a total needy dude almost begging for the Brazilians to come with us, so there was a moment in which I lost my patience I said “Hey Lewis, they do not want to go out tonight so do not insist and let’s go”. He finally agreed to leave but, instead of joining the two young girls who were waiting for me in the bar nearby, Lewis insisted to go to the mall Rio Sur and, because we had already had some discussions, with him accusing me of always deciding where to go, I gave in and let him lead. We arrived there and checked that there was a combined price of 25,000 pesos (around 8€) to enter both the electronic music club Sixttina and the live band-club Kukaramakara. Since the former was dark and nothing special, we went to the latter which had a nice live concert and a much more fun atmosphere. But in Colombia what looks usually is not coincident with the reality and, after some minutes in which we totally released ourselves, dancing and not caring about the others, we simply realized that everyone was just playing the role of “oh I am in group and the fun I can have is limited to it, meaning that I can not accept anyone from the outside”. After about 30 minutes, I got so upset that I told Lewis that I would leave that mall, as this type of nightlife symbolizes everything I despise: expensive clubs, with zero chances of meeting new people (I am not even talking about of hooking up with new girls) and everyone just being there to show off. In the end, I could not take it anymore and I told Lewis that I would leave, with him arguing and claiming that I only had fun “at my places”. To avoid the night to become even worse, I left him behind, taking a cab into the rainy night, arriving home with a similar stormy mood.
Day 6, Sunday: I woke up in the morning with this inevitable sensation of deception. After all, I was in Colombia, where I thought the girls and the attitudes were quite distant from the ones we usually get in the western world but, as many times reported in my posts, nobody is immune to the ravishing wave of globalization. I decided then to put the theories away and to face the reality. I had agreed on Friday night with Alejandra – who would be travelling on Saturday but would be (supposedly) back on Sunday afternoon – to go to one of the nice parks of Medellin, so around 2:00 pm I sent her a message to check how and where we would meet but no signal from her. I started then looking for other options and chatting with other girls, but the whole day was basically a waste of time in terms of productivity and even in terms of activity. I felt like a useless loser who was just replacing his frustration with procrastination and, even if I was on holidays, I felt an urge to do something. I started writing some of these lines for about two hours, forgetting about the world outside, and suddenly, most likely due to an increase of dopamine in my body, I was feeling much better. In between, I got an answer from Alejandra saying that she had extended her weekend with her family a day more and that she would be back just on Monday (how unreliable are these Colombian beings!). In any case, I could set a date with Francy, the girl I had meet on Thursday evening in parque Lleras, and we agreed to meet at around 8:30 pm in the El Poblado park. But as a piece of advice, if you set something with a Colombian girl, please make sure you find parallel plans because not only she can flake on you but, most likely scenario, she will arrive a couple of hours late. So after realizing that Francy would not show up so early, I sent a message to Lewis to meet him at the Happy Buddha hostel, in order to start heating the engines. Meanwhile, the semi-pro I had also met Thursday night, kept inquiring where I was at, wondering whether we could meet to seal the deal but, before activating Plan P (for paying), I wanted to try all the other (free) options. The scenario at the hostel was already familiar to us: many guys, always the same few girls and cheap cocktails. We bet again on the always winner Long Island and after a while, already around 11:00 pm, there were the two Brazilian girls who had been chatting with Lewis the night before and who had also agreed to meet us on that Sunday. Not coincidentally, the four of us were in an animated conversation right afterwards and it seemed that a normal night, according to the “rules” (which say that two girls and two guys together will always pair with one another), was coming. At around midnight, my Colombian date was still on her way, so I was already ready to blow her off and to focus on the Brazilian until suddenly, a tall, thin guy sits behind me. In a normal world, the girl I was talking to would have ignored him and put her attention on me but, in the real one, what happened was that he asked her whether she wanted to play pool and she accepted it (it seems they had already met each other before). So understanding the risks of getting eventually “dumped” but also because I wanted, after all, to see the cute Francy, I told Lewis and the other girl that I would meet a friend for a while and that I would come back. But to meet this “friend” was not easy either, and I needed more twenty minutes to finally see Francy, already very drunk and with more two girl friends, at around 1:00 am (so we are talking about 5 hours of delay to our date!). Even if I kept my frame, I totally told her off and disapproved her behavior, saying that I do not wait for everyone and that it is a huge lack of respect to agree to meet someone on a certain time and to arrive five hours later. After some soft apologies from her side, we moved up to go to a bar (very close to the hostel) to meet her friends. Inside the place and when we were alone, I finally kissed Francy and her reaction was positive but not quite enthusiastic, so on that exact moment I had the certainty that I would not take her home on at night. Afterwards, I came outside and by a total coincidence I met Lewis with a very upset face and I asked him what had gone on. The answer was “this is unbelievable! I took my girl home and the maximum I could get was a kiss, while the other one went to fuck the skinny Austrian guy”. I got quite thunderstruck but I immediately told him to cheer up and to join my new group. After a while, he went inside with one of the girls but came out complaining that the girl let him dance and touch her all over, but did not allow any kiss. The group eventually moved down again to go eat something, while Lewis and I stayed near the bar (Francy told me she would come back). Lewis was so devastated by that night the he finally went home. As for me, I had to go through another almost strenuous quest looking for Francy and, when I saw her again, I told her that I would go home (of course I tried first to take her home with me, but the invitation was somehow smothered by her) and that was exactly what I did, alone, with no Colombian or Brazilian girl on my side.
Day 7, Monday: The last day of my stay in Medellin started with another very difficult session in the gym, but I somehow managed to finish my training (in terms of burning fat, building muscle and almost about everything in life, a little is always better than nothing). Then, to enjoy a little bit the afternoon and to put another “check” on the touristic attractions of the city, I asked Lewis to come with me to Museo el Castillo, a supposedly very nice castle, built on the 30s by a very wealthy Antioquian landowner who inspired himself on the French castles of the Loire Valley region. The house/museum had a beautiful garden but being hung over and with a male friend, who in addition is not a person who really enjoys these kinds of tranquil programs, did not help in turning the experience into a great one. There was a tour of one hour included but, to avoid any more complaints from Lewis, we decided to leave the place at around 5:30 pm, going back to his hostel (Happy Buddha) to play some table tennis. I went for a rest and agreed to meet him at 8:30 pm, to eat the best pizza in town (where I had already been with Alejandra on Friday night). Meanwhile, I was trying to seal the deal with the two girls I had already hooked up with but neither Francy – who was tired – nor Alejandra – who had just arrived in Medellin and was tired too – were up to anything, so it was time for me to cut the bullshit with myself and to activate Plan P. I had been talking with Vicky (the name of the semi-pro) the whole week and in the end I told her that, if I paid, I would spend maximum 100,000 pesos on her (about 32€). So we agreed to meet at 9:30 pm in El Poblado. But, whether it is a normal, a semi-pro or even a pro girl, regarding meeting schedules, all the Colombians have graduated in the same unreliable school, so when it was almost 10:00 pm when Vicky told me, surprisingly, that she was a little bit late. So I went with Lewis to Happy Buddha, where a happy hour of shots was about to start and, at least, I would be occupied with something and not waiting for some flaky girl (I told her “hey no worries, just show up in Happy Buddha whenever you are ready”). So we let the party start, which was basically a cock fest but with some nice guys, whom you could have nice conversations and fun with. About one hour later, Lewis and I were already the kings of the party, as we were interacting and teasing the (very few) girls who were there, while the majority of the guys (Americans and Australians), were watching some American football final on television. Since not only I had been one week struggling and fighting but also there were no significant prospects on the party, I was honest to myself and decided that I would pay for sex on that night. So when Vicky arrived at around midnight (well not bad, just three hours and a half late), I told her “hi” and introduced her to the group as if she were a normal girl. Since I was in a very good mood, I extended the party for half an hour more and we drank a couple of beers more but then it was time to show some respect to my little friend down there. I took her to my hotel room and immediately understood that she was, as perhaps many women in Latin America, someone who was doing sexual services because she really needed to, as she wanted to pay for her course in the university. First, she wanted to switch the lights off, as if she were some 16-year old virgin. Then, at first she did not want to blow job me but I had to “demand” it her to do it so, as basically I was paying for a “service”. And when she did it, oh god, what an amateur: I even had to teach her how to do it, because the way she was using her hands and her mouth were in the category of one of the worst blows I have ever received. Finally, the intercourse was nothing special, one of those you can only tolerate if you are with a girl whom you really like. In the end, it was the second time I paid for sex and I realized why I do not do it regularly or not even rarely: because aside from the non existent mental stimulation it gives to your mind – basically all the seduction is exempt and you know that every man can access to this woman – you can still incur in the risk of not getting sexual satisfaction.
+ Quality of women: even if it is not the heaven many guys write about on the internet (you have many and many unattractive women), it is in any case the only city in Colombia in which you will see talent on a regular basis. The fact that is also the capital of silicone in this country helps in giving every guy a more visual impact than other cities;
+ Food: Great, with the advantage of offering an international cuisine on the top of the local one;
+ Logistics/Atmosphere/Attitude of people: Even if the city is quite big, I believe it has not only the right size but also the exact balance between locals and visitors, turning it into a salad which still keeps its identity. People are also nice and friendly and you can see they are used to deal with foreigners;
+ Music: compared to Cali, the city is much more diverse in terms of musical options, and you can hear on the same quantity such tunes as salsa, bachata, reggaeton, vallenato or even electronic and rock music.
o Prices: not so cheap as Cali but still much more affordable than Cartagena, for instance. You will be able to get very good deals, even in a very touristic place as the El Poblado;
o Nightlife: Just average but still the best one among the cities I have visited in Colombia (I suspect that only Bogota must be actually good). Still, the area of the El Poblado compensates the lack of real nightlife options, by providing an amazing logistics for “street night gaming”;
o Accessibility of women: contrary to Cali, which has a more uniform pattern, here you can get a total indifferent look from one girl, to then talk to the next one who can be totally into you. These girls are used to flirting and to be courted by foreign guys but, in general, they still have not gained a general attitude which would impede any healthy interaction between a man and a woman to happen;
o Security: Amazing how once the “most dangerous city on earth” turned into a very livable city, with no significant problems whatsoever to the tourist who comes here to spend some holidays or even a season. Nevertheless, it is important not to facilitate and to remember that, since there are lots of drugs and prostitutes in this city, this also means potential dangerous behind those;
o Points of interests: implanted in a valley, Medellin is a pleasure to anyone’s eyes, no matter from what perspective you look into it. In addition, it has endless green spaces and parks, which remove any claustrophobic effect which might come from being a big city. On the other the hand, this city does not really have so many monuments which would allow it to become a city really worth visiting in architectural terms.
The verdict: If you look above, I have not given any negative point to Medellin which in itself already means a lot. This is by the far the most complete city in Colombia (well I do not know Bogota, but due to its size I would say the logistics must be terrible), one with plenty of options, including many natural spots and a spring climate throughout the whole year. Then, you have the women, which are way above the rest of the country, in terms of beauty. Finally, it is true that the nightlife itself is not that good but, on the other hand, Medellin has perhaps the best “night street game” of the world (the area of El Poblado), a reality which allows any “warrior” to wander between streets looking for the extra chance of scoring, something which the bars and clubs usually do not provide.