You were young. Lots of dreams and ideas running through your head. You were eager to try new things. Different things. All things.
You tried one thing. You failed. Tried another thing. Failed again. So you moved to the next thing. Until you tried and failed again. But because you were so young, and had your whole life ahead of you, you knew that eventually things or at least ONE thing would work out.
So while trying new things, a blog, writing a book, establishing a business, whatever, you also kept having fun. Because life is not just about working your ass off, right?
You were 20 when it all began. Until after some trial and error, lots of parties, and failed endeavors, you woke up one day and you were already 25.
You decided to move to another country and start a new life. And there, to try everything all over again. You are now 30 and it seems that while you are good at many things, you are not excellent at anything.
31, 32, 33…and suddenly, an opportunity of a lifetime comes. ‘It’s now, I’m sure!’. Being a “once in a lifetime” investment opportunity, buying a cheap building to then rent it, or simply gambling in crypto, you somehow FELT that was it.
You invested most of your hard-earned savings and things seemed to be going pretty fine. And after half a year, you almost 5x your investment. You were thrilled and finally envisioning a life without a boss. A life where you were the boss, the captain of your own ship.
Until that ship hits an iceberg (aka market crash, a global pandemic, you name it) and what seemed to make sense does not make any more. Those 20,000 that were worth 100,000 are now worth 5,000.
And because you are already 35 and you have tried EVERYTHING, all your dreams and aspirations suddenly vanish. Sure, you can keep trying – but haven’t you done that your entire life?
So all that hope and energy you had within just dries in the blink of an eye. That light at the end of the tunnel that was getting brighter and brighter is suddenly gone. And all you see is darkness.
I am sure it does because if you are reading this blog, something tells me that you are not where you want to be. You have desperately tried to change your life, to improve yourself, but somehow things have never worked out the way you wanted.
And when before there was hope, now there is resignation. When before there was enthusiasm, now there is apathy. When before there was light, now there is shadow. When before there were dreams, now there is just the harsh weight of reality hitting hard in your face.
If there is a dark side of self-improvement, that comes in the form of hitting a roadblock. Of having tried everything (not necessarily in the best or most effective way, but to have certainly tried) and having achieved nothing.
While you read successful stories all over the internet, especially on Twitter and YouTube of guys who failed 50 times but succeeded at the 51st attempt, that does nothing to inspire because you have tried 100 times and failed exactly those number of times.
But worse is the hope you cannot seem to find anymore: because even if you try 10 times more, you have the feeling that you will keep failing anyway. So you just accept that you were never meant to greatness, but to live a common life like anyone else.
And now you ask yourself how can you bear living further, knowing that the life ahead of you will be sad, pointless, and frustrating. A slow, silent descent to hell.
The solution is not easy…but there is one
Look, I know how it feels like, simply because this is the story of my life. When I was younger, I always thought there would be a moment where I would finally be where I TRULY wanted to be.
Until finding myself stuck in life with absolutely no idea what to do or where to head next. Wherever I looked at, all I saw was no alternative other than having a 9 to 5 to pay my bills and living in a boring city which I didn’t really like.
But just like I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, I am here to tell you that, while it might seem impossible now, there is actually one. However, I must warn you that seeing this light will be neither easy nor immediate, and it will require a LOT of physical and mental effort.
Because let’s face it: if it has not worked out so far, that’s because the problem lies on YOU. Therefore you must be ready for a change. A REAL change.
The question is, are you ready for it?
The Escape Plan
First and foremost, you need to be truly honest with yourself, probably like you never were before. That means diving deep into the depths of your soul and look for what you really want. Is it to have a nice house? A nice car? To have a wife and children, or to live like a playboy forever?
That MUST be your starting point. During our lives, we get so caught up in the process of trying and going after different things, that we tend to forget why we started chasing those things in the first place. Yes, irrespective of how poetic it may sound, you must find your WHY. That will give you clarity.
Because if what you want is to become an online business owner who can live where the hell he wants, you need to start envisioning yourself being exactly that guy.
You need to wake up every day and remember that is the destination you have been always aiming at. It is pointless to try whatever you are trying if you get so lost and busy with other stuff (for instance a 9 to 5 that blocks most of your time, energy, and creativity) that you end up forgetting what moves your soul.
And no, I am not telling you to quit your job, just to bear in mind that you may need to see it as a means to an end (aka what you truly want to become), not the end itself. And by job, I mean whatever you are doing right now that helps you living but does not make you truly alive.
After that, it is time to evaluate who you are, what are your skills, and what you are naturally good at. If you want to get out of this hell, you need to focus on what works and double down on that.
So even if you feel totally lost and just see a blurry future ahead of you, you need to be rational and list what are your strengths, what you are good at, and what you do naturally.
At this stage, you may be thinking “Well bro, if I am a failure that’s because I am not good at anything!”. And I can tell you are WRONG. You are a failure most likely because you never have done anything wholeheartedly and giving 100%. You may think you have but I promise you haven’t.
Again, how do I know what? Because If I am brutally honest with myself, among all the things I have tried, I know I did not put my whole skin in the game. Many times, I was just too lazy to push forward or to dedicate the necessary amount of time and energy to achieve what I was trying to achieve. I got distracted often and by the wrong things.
Not saying you can’t give 100% and not fail anyway. But it will be very unlikely. All because 99% of people are naturally lazy and we tend to stop way before our limits (just check David Goggins and his 40 percent rule).
So going back to your strengths and skills, just think about the things you do effortlessly. Things that you have done for a long period of time. Things that others somehow tend to praise you on, or look at you with some respect, envy, or admiration. It may be from being good at selecting films to be the best wingman when going out. From being great with words to being very good with building websites. Whatever.
Just grab a piece of paper and write at least 10 things you are good at. It doesn’t matter whether you are right or wrong, or whether the things you jot down are “ridiculous”. Just write the ten things that will come out automatically out of your head. And if you can get those 10 things within a couple of minutes, then write 20.
After this exercise, you will probably be more inspired and hopeful of your future than ever before (or at least lately). Because there is nothing more powerful than finding our WHY and nothing more motivational – I hate this word but sometimes it works – than reminding ourselves about our strengths and about what we are good at.
And finally, be READY to change. Not necessarily in terms of mindset, but in terms of changing your routine and habits. Because remember: what you have done hasn’t worked out so far, so you DRASTICALLY need to change.
Set a plan. And stick to it. It doesn’t matter whether you do it first thing in the morning or last thing before bed (although you may have more energy during the daytime, just saying). Whether you do it sober or drunk, after two cups of coffee or after eating a nice breakfast. There are no right or wrong formulas, only the ones you can stick to.
Also, try neither to completely change your routine nor to add many hours to that “side project” because you will fail miserably. Instead, add it PROGRESSIVELY to your existing schedule and without overloading your existing routine.
For instance, let’s say you wake up at 08:00 am, start working at 09:00 am, end your shift at 05:00 pm, and usually hit the gym at 06:30 pm. Here, I see 3 options:
To wake up two hours before and put in that extra work before your job starts. To do it during your job, in case you have some dead moments and you are working from home (just be careful with this, as you do not want to risk losing your job). Or simply to do it after your job and hit the gym perhaps half or one hour later.
The most important is that you reserve one-two hours of your day for this project. Every day, with your phone away and with absolutely no excuses or distractions.
Will it be hard? YES. But if you commit to that change as if your life depends on it, you will find a way out of this prison.
There may be days where you will just be looking at your computer screen – or whichever activity you are working on – and feel useless and demotivated.
And that’s fine: because as long as you commit long enough and you don’t skip a day (tip: assign yourself a “free day” per week so that you don’t burn yourself out), your brain will eventually pick up the new pattern and realize it will have no other choice than starting creating for you.
The bottom line is that if you don’t change a dime, and you keep doing what you have always been doing, you will keep getting the same results. Because one thing is to try. Another thing is to try with a method and discipline behind it.
Sure, you might be lucky and come across a unique opportunity (e.g.: investing in some shit coins in October-December 2020 and having sold them in April 2021) but that will most likely not happen.
So it is time to rely on yourself, on that power and fire you have within, and start maximizing the best in YOU. Because ultimately, you are the only one who will be able to pull you out of the deep hole you dug for yourself.
The only one who will be able to claim his LIFE back.