Remember the song of “Guns N’ Roses”, Paradise City? Yes, when Axel Rose sang in 1987 “take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty”, he was far from imagining that all this would indeed be what every single man, living in the western world, wished to his life in 2017. Green grass, pretty girls. Thirty years ago it was just a cool song, today it sounds like a masculine shout of revolt to bring back the good old days in which people were not stupefied looking at their smart phones and, going more into a gender detail, women used to look nice and feminine.

But since this is not the 80s anymore (on one side, fortunately that it is not, since it was the decade which marked the decadence of music and, consequently, of fashion and created a new style in how people dressed, with all their crappy clothes and ridiculous haircuts), let me focus on the present and tell you that, even if the grass has become red, yellow or blue, there are still some paradises in which the girls are pretty. Cities or even countries which are not totally ruined, places in which a man can look around and still draw a smile from within.

But now you ask: “Ok Andreas, so can you just give me a list of those cities and countries?” I wish things were so linear but since today everything changes at a frantic pace, I will instead give you hints on how you can discover these hidden gems on your own.

To do this exercise, you do not need to live in that specific city or country or even to spend a season there. Actually, you just need a day, perhaps a couple of hours wandering around the city center, to gauge whether the city you are at is worthwhile – actually this can be a life-saving method in case you want to move to a new city and you are not sure whether you will like it!

Do not ask me why, but the indicators I am about to show you are so effectively accurate, that I wonder and regret why I did not take them into account when taking important decisions in the past (ok, maybe they were something which only started to happen in a large-scale on the last two or three years).

So, among of course many others which would require a deeper analysis, these are the factors which can quickly tell you that a place is in the process of getting or is already fucked up:

Dyed Hair

I have started with this kind of protein filament because there is nothing more feminine than a long, well-nourished hair and nothing lousier and more disgusting than a girl who thinks her hair shall be used to throw ink on it. And if I needed to choose a single factor which defines how a country or city is already contaminated with the western virus, this one would for sure be in the top of a list.

I can totally understand that a girl colors her hair, but only when it resembles a natural color (so if she is blond, to dye her hair in brown or black). What I simply cannot understand, because it is simply ugly, crappy and dirty, is when people, especially women, dye their hair in such colors as pink, blue or green. Some claim it is art, but first it is not and second our body is neither a wall nor a canvas. Others claim that is a sign of freedom and a way of showing their true identity: so if the best you can show the world about yourself is a pink hair, then the world lives better without your identity problems.

In the city I live in – and most likely in the city you live too – I am sick and tired of seeing this visual pollution around and it is a reminder that I must abandon this shit hole as soon as possible. Fortunately, there are other places which still allow a (normal) man to make use of his eyes with pleasure and it is not obliged to go through such an ugly scenario. For instance, when I was in Colombia earlier on this year, I do not remember seeing a single girl with her hair dyed, so the “reality” can be a very subjective thing.

Regarding this topic, the math is easy: whenever you see more than a couple of people per day with their hair dyed, than I regret to inform that you are in the wrong place and therefore you must leave it as soon as possible. Because the number of colorful heads is equivalent to the world population: it will only increase, never the other way around.

Morons with headphones

When Sony invented the Walkman in 1979 (it is not a coincidence that it was the Japanese, the most anti-social people on earth, who created this gadget), they were far from imagining that almost 40 years later people would still walk around listening to music with earphones plugged into their ears (or headphones, which are getting bigger and bigger and just look more ridiculous everyday), as if the world outside was just a blurred landscape.

Among many others, the main message one transmits by carrying such an object on the top of their heads is that he or she is a fucking anti-social, who hides him or herself in a supposed “love to music”. Add a smartphone to it, and you have the dream made reality to all the people who just want to avoid at all costs any human contact, meaning also a total loss of awareness about the environment around.

Many guys, already fed up or totally faithless in terms of interacting with women, just accept the sad reality submissively, hoping for better days while listening to the last ultra beta pop hits.

Concerning the girls, they have simply the best tool to explore their full potential for being ice-cold beings, who really enjoy to despise and block every man who dares to approach them coldly in the middle of street or while sitting on the bus. On the other hand, they rejoice and live on the attention they get constantly via their smartphones from the endless thirsty guys who believe even in the smaller chance of having sex with them. The sad thing is that this scenario is so common nowadays that most of us already takes it as granted, as the norm.

But let me tell you that there is still hope and places in which the infection is on an initial phase and people actually look at and listen to one another, being attentive about what is happening around them.

I remember being in 2014 (unfortunately I cannot say the same when I returned in 2016) in a shopping mall in Wroclaw and becoming astonished by realizing that almost every woman was just sitting down and looking around with no rush, neither with smartphones in their hands nor with earphones plugged into their ears.

But if you think this is something which does not exist anymore, I have good news: last week I came from Vilnius, Lithuania and, even if you see already some girls grabbing their phone and listening to their music, the majority of them are just walking around in a healthy way. The same happened earlier this year in Colombia or one year ago in Kiev.

So do not take it for granted: always look for a place in which people – especially women – do no act like morons aka walk around with headphones stuffed on their heads.

Number of migrants

If you have reached this far, then I know I can leave all the “political correctness” aside and talk about the harsh, but real truth. There are basically two types of emigrants who fuck up a place: the first group are the so-called sex tourists, people who go to any given city or country looking for easy sex.

Even so, it is important to divide this group in two sub-types of sexual tourists, just to make it clear that only one really damages a place.

The first sub-type is basically people like me or perhaps you, guys who really want and demand better, sexier and more feminine women, who almost can not be found anymore in the western world. We usually do as much as we can to develop ourselves, including learning foreign languages and studying other cultures, in order that we can have a better understanding and an honest chance of getting to know women, aside from their physical appearance. We are usually alone or in small groups, in the latter case together with guys who share the same interests and passion as we do.

And now we move to the second sub-type: usually tourists – coming from Spain, Italy, Turkey, UK and USA, just to cite their main origins – who really do not have a real interest about where they are heading to: they just talk their language (perhaps English as well, if we are not talking about Brits or Americans), move in big groups and leave their mark wherever they pass through, as they are loud and fussy as hell. These are the guys who always end up in strip clubs and/or paying for sex; these are also the males who, due to their high neediness, sponsor girls in every type of way, from paying drinks in a club to having an escort walking around with them; basically, they have the power of really wrecking a place in a short period of time, as their intentions are so obvious that even the naivest girl will sooner or later understand what they are doing there.

A paradigmatic example for me is Wroclaw: in the end of 2014, I just walked around the city and felt this “wow” effect thrown at me, especially because I was foreigner; fast forward 21 months and the city was infested with strip clubs and big groups of guys in their famous stag parties, which resulted in girls with such an attitude that myself could not believe that these people were the same I had seen less than two years before.

The second group has much more complex intentions, as they not move to a country (just) for sexual reasons, but looking for better conditions of life, which naturally they do not find in their home countries. And due to the new open boarders’ charade, started in 2014 and led by the destroyer of the modern Europe called Angela Merkel, we have now a “dream world” flooded with “refugees” coming from Africa or the Middle East.

What this multiculturalism utopia has brought has been nothing more than letting a bunch of thirsty – and eventually dangerous – men, with a totally different educational and cultural background, getting in a continent with limited resources and space. But there is more: besides this new migrant wave, you can also include in this group this “old” type of immigrants who were already born in the country, such as the Turks in Germany and the Algerians in France. Do not ask me why but in most of the cases they keep exactly the same traits and behaviors as if they were born in their “home” countries and, at the risk of generalizing, it seems that they have this inherent tendency of treating women aggressively – not necessarily physically but eventually verbally – and disrespectfully (do not confuse it with being an Alpha).

And the more men of this kind exist in a certain place or city, the more women we see getting scared and defending themselves, by such “invisible” means as cutting completely any social interaction – by sticking their heads into their smartphones all the time – or by only hanging out within their very close circles.

In the end of the day, being from the former – sexual tourists – or from the latter – ethnic migrants – group, if you see more than a dozen of such men when wandering any given city center for a couple of hours, then I can guarantee you that you are in the wrong place, where the sexual market is totally unbalanced and languished by a bunch of men who show no mercy in their quest to wet their dicks.

Girls wearing sneakers and t-shirts

I know we are in 2017 and that nowadays everyone uses sneakers and t-shirts: I do it, you do it, all the girls do it. But let us imagine that in 2030 all the women will wear strap-on to screw all the guys in the ass or people will walk around with a dump on their heads, just because this will be the new norm…should I then be forced to like it? I understand it is much more practical to wear such clothing parts and that women can use them once in a while, but do not ask me to enjoy girls who go to their jobs, out at night or to a special event bringing this invention of the western world on their bodies.

If you are reading this blog, it is because you are a masculine guy who loves feminine women and both of us agree that there is nothing sexier than a woman walking around with her nice clothes and high heels. And it is curious, and also unfortunate, that this tendency has been growing and growing and has already spread to places which before were a fountain of femininity.

Take Brazil, for instance: what was before a country of traditional roles is now an epicenter of feminism, where women claim their power all the time (and you can see it by the way they dress and present themselves, with lots of tattoos all over); or countries such as Poland, Lithuania or even Ukraine and Russia, where nowadays it is rarer to see a sexy woman walking around in her sexy heels and sexy dress than to see a bunch of girls wearing crappy sneakers and regular t-shirts.

Still, all these referred countries are far better than any of the western shitty hole you probably live in, where women do not care anymore about looking sexy and feminine, except for rare exceptions. Fortunately, there are still some cultures which encourage and reward a woman for following her feminine nature, and these can be easily spotted by that sweet sound of a high heel shoe clapping on the sidewalk, rather than “hearing” the silence of a vulgar sneaker.

In the end, it is not a coincidence that a t-shirt in Russian is called Futbolka, as in such a country this clothing part is originally defined as something to wear while playing football.

(Lack of) Tinder matches/responses

As you already know, I have only used this retarded app for a couple of times but I can agree that it can be a great, quick indicator to check whether the city you are currently at has, at least, an acceptable sexual market.

So I defy you to do the following exercise (considering, of course, that you are a guy who is slightly attractive and has some good photos to show): turn on the app, slide fifty girls who are above the level 6 (out of 10) to the right and check how many matches you have. If you have a number between 0 and 5, I can promise that you will go through a lot of hassle while trying to wet your dick around here. If you have a number between 5 and 10, then the place is still a little bit fucked up and will you have lots of difficulties to get laid, but with hard work it will be possible. A number between 10 and 15 shows that this is a healthy city where attractive women are still giving chances to guys and, in case you have more than 20 matches out of 50, then stay right where you are because you have reached heaven.

Another important indicator is the answers you get when you write a girl after you have the match (on the other hand, if you get a couple of first messages proactively coming from their side, then you have arrived in a place which will make you smile a lot): many times, most of girls are just looking for attention and they will have the mental orgasm when they see your “Hey girl with nice eyes, feeling good?”, therefore ignoring your question afterwards. If you have more than 50% of this “talk to the hand” attitude, then let me tell you that this specific sexual market is filled with thirsty guys looking for the conceited girls who have the upper hand on it and you will be struggling to get bangs, even with average women.

Conclusion/Scale of Contamination:

If you find yourself in a place which has…

…0 of the points above: Welcome to Eden! Perhaps you were caught in a scientific experiment or eventually you were just abducted by aliens who took you to a galaxy very far away but, in case you find yourself in a place with none of the traits described above, make sure you will not move an inch because you have just reached heaven (or maybe you are just dead);

…1 of the points above: Welcome to the Shire! In 2017, this is still the equivalent of the perfect paradise, with feminine, bright women walking around and men totally happy looking at and establishing healthy relationships with them. In case you have come to such place – perhaps somewhere in the mountains of Colombia, in the jungle of Bolivia or in an isolated island of Philippines – don’t move and stay right where you are!

…2 of the points above: Welcome to Kauai! Arguably one of the most beautiful places on earth, the undeniable truth is that you can not find better on the real world. The breathtaking landscape and amazing beaches are only counterbalanced by a couple of factors, such as heavy rain and Leptospirosis, but the truth is that this place will still give you high doses of happiness and well-being so, instead of looking for better, just think that you are above 95% of the male population and that you have plenty of reasons to smile.

…3 of the points above: Welcome to Zabol! You are now in the limit of pollution allowed for a human being to survive, meaning that you already have many health problems, including serious mental disorders. If you take the right medication and have a balanced life and nutrition, you will still be able to live a normal life with some positive results but, in case you get lazy or lenient with yourself, than your life will be thrown down the drain.

…4 of the points above: Welcome to Chernobyl! The problem about such a contaminated place is that, because it does not kill you immediately and you are still able to survive, you may think that it is not that bad so you just settle. Moreover, if you are indoctrinated enough, you can even take it to a whole new level and actually believe that you can live a normal life. But, in the end of the day, you will never be able to cheat reality, meaning that sooner than later the high levels of radiation will destroy all your physical and mental health.

…5 of the points above: Welcome to Venus! If the high temperature – dyed hairs, tattoos, crappy clothes – does not kill you immediately, you will surely be crushed by the unbearable pressure – conceited attitude and no chances for communication – which is about 90 times what a human being can support. Yet, in case you are superman and miraculously still survive to these two previous conditions, then I regret to inform you that you will be eradicated by the sulphuric acid rain – headphones, smartphones and thirsty males everywhere!