This year I took the decision of spending the New Year’s Eve in Thailand. Since I had always heard wonders about Bangkok and because a big friend of mine was living there, it seemed like the perfect circumstance to have a nice short holiday on that promised land.

But what was supposed to be mindless entertainment, with plenty of raw party and sex a la carte, turned out to be just another verification of the “oh shit, the world has changed here too”.

Just as a small note, I was there for only 5 days and I know that I take the risk of being too narrow and simplistic, because I am considering a short sample of time for the whole. However, not only it was a strong period – I got an entire weekend, which included the new year’s eve on a Thursday – but also my life experience has taught me that most of the times a weekend is enough to assess the quality and potential of a place, these are the myths about Bangkok that I would like to debunk right now:

“Bangkok is so cheap that you will  party like a king”

True, there are still bargains such as the taxi rides (you can make almost the entire city for an amount equivalent to a maximum of 5€) but if you go out – to places where you can see hot girls of course, I am not talking about shit holes – forget about the cheap deals. A cocktail never costs less than the equivalent of 5€ and entering a fancy place never costs less than the equivalent of 15€ (without consumption).

Then, I honestly do not pay for sex (at least directly, because we all know that dates still need some money involved to be successful) but I was curious in checking how much not only the “disguised” whores in clubs but also the official hookers would charge for it. Before arriving in Bangkok, I would read in the internet how cheap and easy prostitution was. But guess what? I discovered that this was another myth, since these girls would never charge less than the equivalent of 70€.

Lastly, another curious example: do you know these huge markets in which retailers sell these counterfeit products which are very similar do the original ones? Well I remember that I was bargaining a  pair of Diesel boxer shorts and the saleswoman was insisting that, due to the product quality, she could not lower the price below the equivalent of 6€ (and her attitude was as if she were already doing me some kind of big favor!). In the end I decided not to buy the item and luckily, because one week later I bought a real pair of Diesel boxer shorts for 9€ in Germany! This is all to say that surely there are much more expensive places around the world, but you would not expect that from a country known for being so cheap, would you?

“Girls are so easy, that is why men who would not even be accepted by their mothers at home just come here to enjoy the life they always wanted to”

So let us see the cards on the table: alleged easy, nice and attractive women just get crazy about fat and bald men, who are simply in the downward phase of their lives. These women, coming from humble origins, just adore the style of these western fellows who, on the other hand, finally meet girls who can look at them with “real eyes”, respect them and even worship these rounded-belly males.

I should have already suspected before that when it seems too good to be true, it probably is, but I had not made any insight until I finally landed in Bangkok. And the sad truth only came after the second night: they are indeed easy, simply because (almost) every girl who goes out at night is looking for someone who will pay for her services! And I mean, every girl – never my entire life I have been in a city in which, for more than one time, I was surrounded by 100% of whores, pros, prostitutes or whatever you want to call them.

But thinking coldly, it is something which makes perfect sense: perhaps 25/20 years ago these western lonely men discovered this virgin territory full of slim bodies and innocent minds and they thought that they had just found paradise! But what happens when you find one? It simply gets ruined.

So these harmless girls quickly realized that they could get much more than simple attention and company from these males. And they started to ask for money, when they would have asked for none exactly in the same scenario years before.

Not surprisingly, this trend quickly spread until it reached a point in which this got so embedded in the Thai culture (or perhaps just in Bangkok, that I can not be sure about) that nowadays these are the rules of the game: every man who goes to Bangkok knows that he needs to open his wallet to get something. And I mean, in the end, who can judge these girls? They just found a clever way to sell an asset which had been free before, but which gained market value after a huge increase in the demand.

“The competition and the quality of the men around you are so low that you will shine among the horde as a rock star”

Maybe this was true ten years ago, but I can tell you that I do not remember seeing a place with such a strong male competition. From westerns to locals, I was in places in which I saw plenty of stylish men, with shaped bodies and an enviable height, a fact which made me feel just as another one and that I would need to apply extra game to succeed.

But guess what? Most of the men I saw when going out had either lots of money or at least a savvy look and a strange confidence when talking to women (I remember meeting an English fellow, whom I made wingmanship one night with, who was clearly someone very used to apply game in his beloved London). And it was funny to see how women really have the best of both worlds there: on one hand, they afford to have a wide selection of males to choose from and on the other hand, they still gain money from it!

Honestly I had never been in a place in which prostitutes are really picky in choosing guys, since they only bed the ones they really like and are attracted to. But then I realized that in Bangkok everything can happen but not that everything which one might thing in the first place: the advantages are clearly reserved just for the ladies.

“All the girls are so pure and traditional that you can put you game and western mentality aside”

So I thought that I would go to Bangkok and would put a little bit my western mentality aside and tranquilly let myself get into a traditional courtship system, in which men do not need to pull fancy tricks out of the hat to attract the opposite sex. And that opposite sex was full of sexy women, walking around and being proud of their femininity…well my friends, I could not be more wrong!

What I found there was a bunch of women totally connected to technology, more worried on what was going on their screens than on the real world. In addition, and especially going out at night, I saw exactly the same collective behavior, as if I were in any western city, with girls posing instead of having fun, bitching and looking around instead of dancing and focusing on colorful bottles instead of meeting and having genuine conversations with other people.

Of course that only the one who adapts will survive, so I had to pull out my best game in order that I could, at least, increase my odds of getting lucky. And against all the expectations I had before arriving in Thailand, using my best game meant to be “aloof”. Not coincidentally, it was only then that I got the better reactions and interactions with women.

 “All the women love foreigners and get impressed very easily”

Again, I suppose this was true 15 years ago or even 5 years ago, but not anymore. It might be the culture, that I am very ugly or that I was just unlucky, but it was one the countries in which I had less Indicators of Interest (exception if we were talking about gold diggers or whores in the club, who would stare at me with that “look of desire”).

Aside, in most of the interactions I had with girls, the fact that I was from Europe just raised a normal “ah cool” reaction, something one would not expect in the first place. Moreover, from the four nights in a row I and my friend went out, the only women we could take to our room for free were two German girls. Ironic, isn’t it?

“Women are reliable, innocent and stable and have an inherent culture and education for being nurturing mothers”

We all know how women are unstable beings, who frequent display childish and narcissistic actions, as well as a regular, inconsistent behavior. But if this is true in general, the Thai women take it to a whole new next level. Not only they appear much younger than they really are – I met girls over 30 who looked under 18 – but also and especially they really behave like teenagers! For them it looks like there is no seriousness and everything is a game.

I remember approaching a girl who totally reacted coldly and in a bitchy way towards me but who, after I kept my frame and launched a “oh come on, you do not pay extra for smiling”, completely changed her attitude and just started smiling a lot, adding a senseless pearl of “oh come with me, I want you to be my boyfriend tonight” (to which I dismissed, since the situation had been so strange that I thought it would be some kind of scheme).

But that is not all: their reliability is almost equal to nothing, meaning that these girls are masters in the art of flaking. Although their jolly smile and appearance might trick your brain in seeing them as innocent, poor beings, do not let yourself be fooled: they have the full degree in how to deceive a western man.  

During my entire trip, I collected just three telephone numbers (by choice, because for just five days what would be the point of getting more?) and guess what? Two did not even mind in giving me a one word answer back, while the other just answered during the excitement of the night – because I had made out with her) – becoming uninterested on the day after until she finally faded away completely.

“All the girls are beautiful, sexy and feminine”

Maybe Asian girls are not my thing – indeed it is true that I will always prefer Caucasians – or maybe I was just unlucky about the girls I saw in Bangkok, but I swear that I have never seen so many ugly girls together in the same place (perhaps an equivalent scenario I have just found in Salvador da Bahia, Brazil, where only 0,1% of the population is attractive, among a universe of 2.7 millions inhabitants).

In addition, you have basically two types of girls: the ones who love to dress up and use and abuse of make-up – which gives most of them an absurd clown look – and the ones who are pure hipsters meaning that, due to their genetics, simply look like young male skaters. I know that after a while your brain starts to get used to this “exoticism”, but this is more your survival instinct speaking – about adapting to the environment around – and less a matter of beauty itself.

Bonus point

So imagine a place in which you would go out and every attractive girl you would interact with would be like playing Russian roulette: either it would be a real girl or just a girl who suffered a transformation, having a vagina where originally she had a penis. Would you like to play it? Well, so let me introduce to the wonders of Bangkok, a city in which you are never sure whether she has a uterus inside (Now I get the real meaning behind the city’s name)!

I remember hitting on the most attractive girl in a club and starting making out with her, only to be interrupted afterwards by my friend with a “hey stop it, you can not do it…she is a guy!” Since she had zero signs of masculinity – thin chin and arms, no body hair at all, feminine voice, no prominent Adam’s apple – I promptly asked my friend for explanations, to which he just answered “I do not know man, I simply feel she is not a real woman”.

After this, and how hard I would try, this possibility of her being a guy just caused me disgust and repelled me from her. In the end my friend confessed me that something similar had happened to him some weeks earlier, in which he just “aborted the mission” due to suspicions of a phallic object which could have come over for the dinner. So being in a city in which I have to think on a regular basis whether I am talking to a 100% girl, it is just not my thing!

Conclusion

Summing up, and after all these points, the question is inevitable: is it really worthwhile to travel to a country in which women (if you are lucky enough not to get a shemale or a female who was a male still in this life) are not physically attractive, have their value quite inflated, not only because the land is filled with thirsty sexual tourists but also because there will always be a desperate man who will pay for their services, have an attitude and no innocence at all and behave like children (full flakiness alert)? Ah, and on the top of it that the country is becoming quite expensive?

Well my answer is a clear no. But if you think I am a retarded, someone crazy or just a guy who can not pick up Thai girls, feel free to take the ride to the land of elephants. But in the end do not tell me that I have not warned you.